Thursday, February 15, 2007
it's my first valentines' day.
to say this is reather unfair coz it nullifies every other person who has and who will continue to love me. and besides there's so many branches of love anyway.,
but i'm not here to broach that topic. i guess there's still a limit to how much joy. when there's an exam right smack the next day. and having bad results for my econ paper to contend with..and a lot of other stuff to do. nonetheless it was a sweet albeit freezing cold night.
i really need to get my priorities right. this sounds rather sudden. but i've just realised that my weekly cycle consists of chill time doing nothing in particular. having weekend brunches, doing homework and studying when necessary and sleeping. and seriously there's nothing beyond that. i mean there has got to be more to life in terms of activity. what did i use to do to occupy my time?
more importantly, why don't i seem to feel its absence?
i feel like i'm walking a really thin rope here. it's way scary. and somehow i'm gonna tumble off somewhere.
i shan't fathom. but i imagine that i must be buidling around a centre. and somehow when it gets eaten right through, and everything collapses about the emptiness. well, it'll be a pretty site.
i think i should be looking inward for answers. and not outward.
that said. the cold's really getting to me. i fantasise about walking about in shorts and tanks all the time now. to feel the sun and all its golden happy rays. when you're living day to day at -10 to -20 degrees. it plain sucks. 0 degrees is looking to be extremely palatable. especially when one nearly freezes their toes off trying to get to dinner.
yesterday's snowstorm was really the cherry on top of a friggin' huge cupcake. i was just sliding my way to class today. trudging through flurries is mildly irritating. but the you've got snow, and ice and sludge. and it gives new meaning to everything.
and we've had the 4th fire drill at my dorm in the past 2 weeks. really not fun. not when you get woken up from your sleep. or when you have to stand out in the cold for 30 minutes.
and i'm whining. urgh. oddly i must mention this particular event in psych section. some presentation and a poor attempt at hypnosis skills. the students tried to conjure images of the golden sand and warm beaches. well, i was amazingly resistent. way too cold to picture anything. it's seriously a different world.
i'm getting my tickets and i should be back by the end of april. tempted to stop by japan and have a little holiday. i'm sooooo glad i'm not staying for spring school. a degree is important. but there's only so much i'm willing to give up for a summer.
