Saturday, November 11, 2006
even memories have to be kept alive.
a year ago today was my A'level GP paper. a year ago today, Baby died.
it's odd, i had gotten so used to having him around. and now, it's odd coz those days with him running between my legs seems so very far away. and home isn't the same either.
i still hav soe pictures of him. very few though. and i wonder whether one day i may forget him completely. i'm sure, he's having fun now, wherever he is.
i love you Baby, always will.
mom and chaps went back yesterday. they dropped me off at dennison for my econ tutorial and drove off to the airport. then plop! plop! came a couple of tears before i commanded myself to stop making a fool of myself. i cried less than when mom and dad first deposited me here.
i don't even cry that much watching K drama anymore. sure, 6 months still seems like a frightful time to wait. forever and a day before i go home. but i guess it'll be bearable enough.
is it possible that a person can be so unfeeling and immune to pain that he or she never cries again? or perhaps one just aches inside until one gets used to it.
you know.. i think i'm becoming stronger emotionally.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
i'm using the computers in the library. a quick glance around me shows that everyone else is doing some kind of work (a paper, some engineering project, some mathematical stuff). and i'm blogging.
midterms have started. again. i've survived the econ midterm and i submitted another paper. this time a 7-page analysis of the relationship between landscape description and character development. i don't know how i did for either but i hope that the paper does well. coz i'd be proud of myself being able to write so much on well, topis i never knew existed. and the econ midterm too. i don't deserve good grades seeing that i devoted less time to it. but i need an A so badly.
and we received the new paper topics. what can i say but that it succeeded in looking much dryer than the previous 2? this time, i haven't a clue on what to write. and we need research. like what??
i want to watch MY GIRL! maybe i can reward myself an episode tonight and count that as Korean language revision..(oh puh-leeze, as if i'm gonna buy that lame-ass story)
i got a new backpack. it's usable. i mean, i'd much rather prefer the sort which they sell at the army market in singapore. handy, comfy, with many many compartments and stuff. but seeing that my mom got it for me, it's kinda hard to describe the sort that i need. they got me a down jacket too coz of the cold. so now, lora, jean and i have exactly the same coat. haha.
i wanna head back to birch run! they have that BCBG store that sells all these be-yoo-ti-ful dresses! just the sort i'd wear in singapore(think marilyn monroe-esque), but i don't wear them here. coz college students really dress down. think walking to class in monkey-printed PJs. i've taken to wearing sweatpants too.
yesterday i was at starbucks for a drink with my mom and sis. and would ya believe it? the staff had begun changing the display items for sale. to those with christmas trees and santa cut-outs. we barely left halloween behind and now.. christmas is on its way!
i can't help but get excited about christmas. seriously. because i'll be celebrating it here and somehow, there's all this mystery about it. LoveActually-esque? think snow with hot choclate, warm mittens with green christmas trees, turkey and gingerbread men and snowmen..
and i've gotten new inspiration for a wishlist. i used to start wishlists before christmas and the'd be horrifically long. and christmas would pass without me receiving anything on it, unless i get it myself. coz relatives have this knack for getting you things like soapbars and towels.
oddly, this time round, i didn't think so much of receiving. but rather, giving. the idea of putting something in the mail, that someone somewhere will be happy. neither am i gonna sit down and rack my brains for the right gift.
oddly, i had this brainwave when i was attending mass(you see where my attention was). i keep finding knicknacks here that i think people will like. like,"oh that's so ___!" so i figured i may just get that item!
i really hope i put that into practice. but that involves checking the shipping costs.
december approaching also means that another year has passed. it's already coming mid november. the first 2 months in singapore, filling in all those uni applications, then packing my shipping boxes for Shanghai and shopping and hanging out with my friends. then attending classes in Shanghai, and making new friends. waiting anxiously for A level grades. touring China, turning 19. coming back. prepping myself for UM. shopping somemore. meeting up with old friends. and flying here. adjusting, attending class, writing PAPERS! taking exams, halloween! that's a pretty satisfying list.
i need to start Korean now. A-JA! na neun do sorh guan eh sorh, han guk gorh leul gong bu hae yo.
Sunday, November 05, 2006
it snowed again on thursday. it's alarming. it's snowed like 3 times since the early parts of October. and the temperature reached a new low of -5 degrees C. (i'm still uncertain of the Fahrenheit conversions).
technically, it's still Autumn now. i think autumn's really lovely and ugly at the same time. i mean, spring and summer has always been about blooming flowers in every bright shade imaginable. but then that's just too glaringly happy for me. i like winter coz it's cold and biter, bare even. but there's this magic about it. and autumn is lovely, when it's in various shades of gold, yellow, red and brown. but now, as autumn draws to a close, it's really sad. the ground's a dirty and dry brown and the trees are drying up, with crackling brown leaves. a land lacking colour and life in general. and sincethe snow's not thick enough to blanket the ground, we see the dust and dirt.
pretty. and yet pretty ugly too.
i don't blog so much anymore. everyday's a cycle of sleep, food, work. repeat. my mom and sis are here. but i haven't really spent much time with them. they've been here almost a week including the few days they spent in chicago. and all i've done is have 4 meals with them. i'd much like to join them on tours and explore new sights, or just laze about with them. chaps says i really should spend more time with Mom coz she came all the way here and i'm hardly around. thing is, i have so few hours and there's just way too much work. it just heaps and piles and it's already the second round of midterms, 2 exams this week and a paper due too. and another exam next week. i can't afford to mess it up. for the subjects i have a better grasp of, i can't drag the score down. and those that suck already, they've only one way to go and that's UP.
i was at the Union on Friday. they often have these clothing sales. and so maybe they're selling highly irrelevant clothing. think silky lace tops just before winter. but they're so pretty anyway. i got myself a pair of skinny jeans(it's required coz i can't get the flare cuts into my boots), a shrug and 3 slinky tops. my dresser's bursting already. it's completely full and my wardrobes almost full and there's extra clothes in my suitcase. i now have 8 pairs of jeans sitting in michigan. and i only brought 3 pairs up here.
that's another thing, wearig jeans. all the sunshine gals in singapore should be gald of the chance to wear skirts, tanks and flip flops. my clothign combinations are various shades of grey and black now simply coz my thick clothing happens to be of that colour.
wenxin and i headed to Baits lounge to watch Pride and Prejudice with jean, lora, edwin, wenjie, daniel, daryl, jonyap and shao on friday night. after 20 minutes of not comprehending the movie, we watche dover the Hedge instead. it's been forever since i caught a movie. no exaggeration there. it's a really nice animated film. i mean, i still like 2D cartoons but this one's really cute.
i watched My Girl on youtube last night till the wee hours of the morning. brian's got me hooked. it's really quite funny. and the girly guy is SOOO pretty. wenxin and i were like ahhh! i was commenting how i'd like to date a guy like the 'Jeong Woo' in the show and we laughed like mad.
daryl fixed drummania on my comp, so now i can play arcade on my laptop!! and that's addictive. so it's bad. the good thing is, i'm reaching the point of time where there's little improvement(and i suck actually) so there's seriously not much play to speak of.
my mom and sis brought over the Starhub DVT. i can now call anyone in Singapore for free! tried it out on yihan and junjia already. due to the combination of the above factors, my schoolwork is showing signs of distress.
woke up frightfully early today after 2.5hrs of sleep. i had to turn up for class at church. teaching the cute little 1st-graders. 8am is some unearthly hour. but i guess the stress of having to turn up alerted me before my alarm sounded. those kids look so innocent and yet can be such terrors. think of 7-year-olds throwing crayons at each other. but then some are awful sweet too. like william and louie and megan and mary. you just want to hug them and let them play 'horse' on your lap. went for mass at 10am and they had the catechists commission where they asked us to walkl forward to the altar and be prayed for to guide the kids in there faith. it's the first time, i'm actually serving the church and it feels well, like something i should be happy about. and i am.
met jeremy after mass ended. my mom and chaps joined us for a meal in the dormitory cafeteria. the spread's really not that bad, just that eating it everyday drives me crazy. pragas and bonita joined us after.
i'm not at Duderstadt for econ study group with jonyap and matthew. and i fully intend to get work done. so ciao for now.
