Friday, October 20, 2006
sigh.
what's the use of sleeping if it doesn't rejuvenate? what's the use of resting if it gives no peace?
it's the weekend and i'm so glad it came. amazing how things can go so dreadfully wrong in such a short span of time. worse when you're the one who caused it.
i'm trying to brush it all aside. and everything will start over. and i'm trying. seriously, albeit in futility.
miss independent is strong. (it's been a while since and i last used that). i just need that little morale boost.
i recall sleeping peanuts during the exam week and yet i still had the energy to survive through my exams, not fall too badly ill and find time to study for the following paper. and now i'm actually getting a bit more sleep, i feel like i'm not surviving at all.
this is all so wrong.
i want to just go home. ditch and go. and somehow the problems will just solve themselves.
oh but the coward shall speak not. miss independent will triumph over all. things will be put right and she'll get that freaking math score up again.
all she needs now is a good sleep and plenty of time to do her work. and lots of common sense to clear her mind.
the colours of fall, a healthy green, a vibrant red and with the winds, a fading yellow and a dying brown.
so the chinese saying speaks, "luo ye gui gen". the world ensures a process of renewal. and everything will regain its original lushness.
i will speak no more. time will tell.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
it was supposed to be something happy. and yet, i'm feeling oddly down now. i feel quite so bad that it's eating me inside.
i made a decision. i'm not sure how wrong or right it is. and yet i don't think there could have been another way out coz i'm so darned scared and unprepared. i always thought that when the time comes, i'll be ready. but i'm so wrong.
i know you're hurting and i'm sorry that you are. and saying sorry isn't gonna help much. but i'd be irresponsible to rush now becausei'll only make it worse.
