Wednesday, August 09, 2006
i talked off much of my dull ache last night. but that doesn't make my mind any much clearer.
hosted class gathering cum farewell party. i'm glad i made food, and i'm glad they turned out good. cookies, salad, cheesecake and fruit salad. though the cheesecake did require me to sleep at 2am.
and anthon actually made sardine baked pasta by himself! and it tasted good! apparently we're now in the age of guys are better cooks than girls. i must defend my sex!
yeah but it was good anyway, meeting everyone and chatting. but it feels kinda weird that i'm not gonna see all of them like that for at least another 9 months.
it's a cold cold world. and i'm walking out into the frost, leaving what i hold dear behind.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
i feel like s***.
sort of a dull ache, a mind that's only partially there, and some indescribable vibe that's making me feel physically ill.
and yet at the same time, i know it's not a body malfunction.
sweet sorrow. that's what it is. not technically bad, but i think the curtains fell for the last time.
you sort of wish you had taped the show, and yet you wish the show would go on forever, singing a different tune more pleasurable to the ears.
Monday, August 07, 2006
how is it that my mind can have a million thoughts, and so many things to say, and yet at the same time, have only one thought and one thing to say?
and any minute spent speaking of one thing and otehrs will fall out of my brain.
WHAT GIVES ME THE GREATEST JOY AND SENSE OF ACCOMPLISHMENT?
i'd love to say helping others and all. but unfortunately, that's just not me.
i'd say for me it's making people laugh and smile. and it's true. if i'm able to make them laugh and smile(genuinely), or perhaps forget other things for a moment, and be just a teensy bit happier, i actually feel good.
it'd be good if it's something witty or funny that i had said. but even if it is at my expense, laughing at me, i still feel good.
odd huh? and i never did think of it till now.
i went driving today and was disappointed and irritated that i did not get the instructor that i had booked. only to reslise that i had booked him and forgot to make the online payments so the reservation was void.
i also witnessed my bank balance fall to such alarmingly low levels. my mom also received the bank statement specifying my expenditure, and she has kindly left it on the table for me to peruse. she's asleep now but i can expect 10 earfuls tomorrow.
added to the fact that i came home at 12.30.
night was dinner at spageddies followed by the movie 'Click' at cine(it turned out to be a pretty cool movie, somewhat thought-provoking and ridiculous at the same time). and then i was given a ride home. one of the scariest rides and i kept praying that i'll make it home. but who knows, i may just attempt it again.
was it long overdue? or is it better left alone? these are questions that i'll never find the answers by myself and i will probably never open my mouth to ask.
'Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Un-do this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked outta my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart, my heart'
-- toni braxton,
unbreak my heart --
i really like this song. no matter how old it is.
going to brush my teeth now. coz i can't remember if i brushed it 30 minutes ago.
Sunday, August 06, 2006
i'm having this flurry of excitement in my bones. but let's not get too happy.
i'm exhausted. i really should be spending more time at home. resting and getting well. my bad throat is not getting better coz i spend every waking moment running abotu and talking. it so nearly got betetr but i think sentosa and me have got really bad karma. the time i went with my classmates, i fell sick the next day. and this time it just made my throat worse.
i spent friday bumming around. saturday was spent at sentosa. it's really quite fun. egtting to know your batch-mates and playing games. i learnt that i can't swim straight. we played ultimate frisbee, or should i say the guys played. it felt like we were walking on fire coz the sand was freaking hot. and we played captain's ball in the water which was really fun!
i'm starting to get pretty excited about school.
went out with cher today. got 2 tanks, a dress from zara and a bikini. i'm trying to not charge anything else to my card. i think it's a reasonable goal. better than the no-shopping-anymore goal. cher and i like both the dresses that we got so we've agreed to do an exchange. i'll take my dress for a year, and she'll take hers for a year. we'll swop when i come back next summer.
tomorrow's a long day. i hope i get well. and if everything works out, it should be a nice dinner.
