Saturday, July 22, 2006
the dilemmas and pains of a consumeristic society. and the shopaholic.
it's a never-ending cycle. you have such in-your-face advertisements promoting all sorts of products to win the gullible consumer over hook, line and sinker.
and then we spend so much money and spend the next period of time wallowing in despair and going through some self-hate process until we begin the cycle again.
i bought 5 pairs of shoes today. i don't even see how that is humanly possible except that i did. and i'm so tempted to just return them. i know the states has this policy that you can return stuff with a certain number of days without having to pay extra charges. and the reason can be just coz you don't think you like it anymore.
so i shan't spend anymore. except for needs. i need a pair of jeans for the winter. and i just want to get my hair done. the rest, i've got to brush them out of my mind.
i've got to correct my spending habit. it's insane.
Friday, July 21, 2006
met up with yihan, debs and char today. nice easy-flowing chat. and we shopped, or should i say, i shopped.
got a pair of earrings, a pair of shoes and a faux leather clutch bag.
met the uni people for dinner. people from my OG. it's great to know new people and knowing that you're not the only one going. but it's seems like i may e the only one with such nerves. but i know i'll be just fine(said with a tad more false confidence).
i'm exhausted. i wonder what time i'll wake if i don't set my alarm. can't wait for bintan. 3 days of not thinking or doing much. 3 days of just lying around. not checking mail, not thinking of packing that huge suitcase. sounds almost glorious. i refrain to comment about tanning and lying on the beach coz i'm not much a fan of sun and sweat. and there's sandflies on the beach.
off to shower now. and i can't wait to crawl under the sheets for a good night's sleep.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
that previous entry was actually from last night.
i've gotten my provisional driving license! sounds so glam. unfortunately i have yet to touch the car. all it means is that i've got my Basic theory done. which still lightens my load.
the lessons were a bit problematic to arrange. ended up spending a good 3 hours plus in the driving school just dealing with the administrative procedures. do we realise how much of our language is replaced by acronyms? well it's a lot. coz i kept hearing TP and BTT and FTT and whatever and it took a while to comprehend.
if everything goes as planned i'll be having my first lesson in about 10 days time.
next. i received the link for Move-In into michigan. it's extensive, intimidating, exciting all at the same time. things from arranging laundry, fixing meal plans(which look awful confusing), building your own furniture, parking permits..etc.
it's all really daunting. seeing that our system here is really simple. pay with a cashcard. eat your food. stuff like that. but i know that if i'll be a lot more streetwise if i can get through it.
and i'll get to know my room assignment and roommates soon.
it's all very in-your-face.
next stop: university.
this sounds really lame. i'm in a frenzy over BTT which i'm taking this morning. it's late and i should be in bed.
the main problem is the limit of about 3 questions which one can afford to get wrong. of course, in the real life and death situation, there is simply no allowance for making mistakes. but come to think of it, the very origin of accidents is negligence. not coz the offenders were unaware of the rules, but simply because they didn't want to follow them. i seriously wonder how many people follow every rule depicted in the book.
went to the NSC for a followup skin appointment. was given medication for allergies and some sunblock and oral antibiotics. yours truly has come to terms with skin problems. in fact that already happened aeons ago.
doc said it was attrributed to stress hormones. and my mom reacted with,"stress? i don't this my daughter has any stress." i'm sure if my mom had the chance, she'd probably say that i'm suffering from the lack of it.
true enough. i believe mine only come in sudden bursts. just like now.
i have a month to go. before i leave for new york. and then transit to detroit. i keep feeling i'm missing out on something. like arranging for a refrigerator, or should i get a microwave? will it get stolen?(hey it's not impossible. the website even dictates the possibilities and the charges) and less superficial worries like how long more will my grandma be around for. for a start i only have one grandparent, seeing that they all passed on either before i was born or when i was really tiny, too tiny to remember. so there's just one grandma. and though she keeps confusing my name with my sister's. i'm still awful glad to have her. she gets so happy when we come home to visit her, or when we report good news to her. makes all the trouble worthwhile. pity i can't say very much owing to my horribly limited cantonese which sends my sister into uncontrollable fits of laughter.
there. with barely 6 hours before i wake for my BTT and early morning walk to the driving school. i guess i'd better go shower.
night world. wish me luck!
Monday, July 17, 2006
got my passport back. yay!
going to bintan next week for a short getaway. yay again!
this is going to sound horribly infantile. i want to dye my hair black and do some sparse purple highlights. but my mom and sis won't let me. or rather they're strongly advising me otherwise. one reason is coz i may have allergies and the other is persuading me to save money.
so maybe i shouldn't spend. and just doing the same honey hgihlights will save a lot more money even though my sis just wants me to do away with the idea completely. what i don't understand is why i've got to listen. or rather, why i feel obliged and compelled to listen.
i know this is a really small matter. but sometimes i feel like i've got to have the freedom to choose. 'with power comes great responsibility'. sounds cheesy huh? but with freedom, there's responsibility too. and i've got to admit that for the amount or responsibility i'm shouldering maybe i deserve less freedom. but how do you start if you never start.
then my sis said something about practising restraint and discipline first so you can enjoy the fruits of freedom when you're 21. so i retorted with, if you're going to have it eventually, why not sooner instead of later?
it's confusing.
i don't know what i'll settle with. if i do dye my hair, they're going to be very unhappy. and if i don't, i'll be unhappy. and this is just one of the issues which we disagree on.
Sunday, July 16, 2006
armed with just the slightest bit of courage.
and i opened my mouth to ask. i don't suppose we can turn back time but maybe it's just a bit to undo those wrong bits.
but there's seriously nothing to be expected except that maybe we haven't changed quite as much as think we have.
i know i did. my friends don't think so. but seriously when you know a person when they're 12, there's much molding to do.
but i'm in the spirit of meeting old friends anyway. else there'll never be another chance.
with some luck i'll get to ride a motorbike. or not. i'm scared and i dunno but i don't think i want to get killed.
night. and i'll stop procrastinating. i have to start on that driving theory. i have just 3 days now.
