Friday, June 09, 2006
and the WORLD CUP is here! haha. at long last there's nice soccer again. there's been that French Open of late but tennis just ain't my sort of thing.
go KOREA! go ENGLAND!
anyway i was just walking along Fanyu Road today, looking at the wutong trees and it occurred to me that when i first cam, it was really wet and rainy and the trees were bare and knobbly looking. other trees were even wrapped in gunny sacks. but now these same trees are proudly displaying their crown of leaves.
another month and i'll be going home.
and a month after that, it's university.
i am going to miss this place. i mean, the water and air is awful. and the food is making me fat. but there's some kind of magic about this place. it's dynamic, vibrant and it's societal upperclass live a really opulent lifestyle. it is Shanghai after all. 1930s saw an older grander sort of life but now, it's re-awakening to a new past.
and i'd hate to leave. who knows when i'll be back? who knows if i'll ever meet the people whom i befriended this time round?
with just 30 or so days to go, there are suddenly so many things that i want to do.
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
ho. this is just brilliant. i don't know how it worked out to be this way. and i'm further than ever. i'm more upset and disappointed and i just want to punch something and throw stuff.
but at least it's just gonna be purely friends now. and i'll stop playing guesswork.
i'm just so tired. i mean, i keep trying to fulfill what i want. i have people asking me what i want for my birthday, like family and friends. and somehow, i can't think of anything. i've got those materialistic possessions. what i want what money can't buy.
and i'm sick of it all. wasn't life supposed to be about working hard for what you want? so maybe i've got all the strategies wrong. i have no f-ing idea. i hate beign hung up about these kind of dumb things. i know from the past that i'm no longer weighed down by the disappointment. but i also know more than ever that i'm further and further away.
isn't this all so stupid? look carefully, the things which matter the most can't be bought, yet we spend our lives chasing all those tangibles. i realy loathe this. what's the point of beeing clothed in silks and satins and fur when ultimately you'll be poorer than the rest?
xy is tired. xy just wants a shoulder to cry on and someone to hold her while she sleeps. xy doesn't want to speak out coz people don't seem to understand.
Monday, June 05, 2006
what's worse than writing a composition?
writing 2 compositions.
that's what i did today. one was homework 3 weeks overdue and the other was during class today.
off now. cooking my dinner halfway.
