Friday, November 18, 2005
the thought that i'll never(at least for maybe 6 months) have to read chem again. and all it's complicated reverse thinking thingys just makes me feel happy. now it's just bio. though most people will beg to differ. it's not
just bio.
but anyhow, it removes the dilemma of having to decide what to study. now it's just bio. and there's no other alternative.
commenting for A's for the first time since it started. it wasn't good. but it wasn't that bad either. and i guess i should get my expectations in check. so maybe the majority of HC people get 4As. that already puts me at a disadvantage coz i can only get 3.
and so maybe everyone should get the As. like hello, it's hwachong.
and i suppose i will be rather disappointed if i don't get As. but considering the outcome of the papers, and that i didn't walk out of them feeling as i did after O's, i should check myself.
these exams are but the first step to a long way ahead. it isn't an end, but the very beginning.
i have no idea what my results will be like, but sincerely, it don't feel too good. and perhaps it may finally make me decide on what i want to do. and what i want to pursue.
also, since i've been quite free this week, i've been watching lots of tv while studying. cher i watch Pride and Prejudice! and it's nice. the one with colin firth and jennifer ehle. and it made me understand the Jane Austen classic a bit better. i intend to reread it coz i was pretty lost the first time round. her language is a little old.
but watching P&P drove me to read Mansfield Park. i'm not halfway there, but it's quite safe for me to say that i prefer P&P or An Old Fashioned Girl better. Mansfield Park is a little slow. and Fanny Price is quite an irritating protagonist. Elizabeth Bennet pleases me much more. she's got spunk, and lots of opinions which she isn't scared to speak about. Fanny on the other hand, continually thinks her ideas inferior to others.
and lastly, about a prom dress. my godsister lent me 3. and one fits really well and i like it. it's a long gown though. blue green V-necked halter with a little train. and it's empire-waisted. unfortunately, if we're gonna go with short cocktail dresses, it mayn't look too right. ah, but i shouldn't be thinking of this now eh?
Monday, November 14, 2005
i am made of strong stuff, says I.
i looked to the Lord, to my family and to myself for comfort. i've found it.
that's enough.
while it may take some time to walk out of the shadow, i know that i've learn to deal with a lot of unplesantness which has put my superficiality to shame.
there's more beyond meaningless chatter, pretty clothes, expensive gadgets..
those are things which you'll need to pass the days, but those aren't the things that i'm going to live for.
similarly, the exams are just exams after all. but it took me a lifetime to figure that out. i don't really care anymore. my best is enough.
someday, somewhere. there will be a place which i can fill.
