Saturday, October 22, 2005
bio is driving me insane. it's so intensely boring. i find it a torture to read the notes. the thing is, i am actually very interested in sicknesses and disabilities. but having to analyse cell functions and ponder about the minute intricacies of atoms and compounds so isn't my cup of tea. it's no wonder that after facing the same set of notes for the whole day, i'm on page 31. brillianto!
but i don't suppose i have much of a choice. especially since this is one of the sets of notes that i have never read in my 2 years of JC life.
argh. i'm so tempting to just take the exam like tomorrow irregardless of whether i have studied or not.
i saw khengwee's nick. it states the date of enlistment as a full time NS-man and naturally speaks of the misery too. it's gonna be pretty gross i guess. but interestingly there are actually people looking forward to it. i wonder why. maybe the food got better?
but take heart, there will be weekends out and then it means, that you learn to treaure every moment of freedom and will prolly use the time effectvively to enjoy yourself.
and toufu has kindly agreed to help me fix a new template for a new blog add. then i guess it'll be adieu.
Friday, October 21, 2005
i will seriously have to consider evicting myself from my home. today was the laziest day this whole week. it being openhouse, i decided to stay home and avoid the noise and crowd in school. but that also means that i fell prey to the usual temptations at home.
but first.. happy 18th toufu! thanks for being my bestest squadmate! for listening to all kinds of gibberish from me, and for understanding me so well.
wish you well babes and all the best with ky!
1. i woke up late. and lazed in bed till 10am.
2. i slept like a log directly after lunch.(this has serious consequences. one of which will show up on my non-existent waist.)
3. i watched Mean Girls for the 3rd time. i needed a chick flick so james drove me to Video EZY to rent stuff. there are still 2 more shows to watch now. darn darn! but Mean Girls is a good chick flick. i think the girl who acts as the dumb blond is really pretty. but everyone seems to forget about her since her role is small.
on the plus side. i kept that flu in check. heading to school for lessons and not getting my naps, and watching tv late into the night just wasn't doing any good. so the sleep really helped. and i'm feeling loads better. even that gruffy voice which crept up on me yesterday is gone!
:)
should i change my blog add? i already have another one which i posted one single entry and gave up after that.
but i realise now that i'm writing pretty mainstream stuff. i remember that up till last year, i still wrote really heartfelt stuff. i don't really do that anymore. not without writing in circles.
touffu! need help here!
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Xy, you've got a little bit of Rachel going on!
She's everybody's sweetheart, despite some (mostly) endearing quirks. And it looks like you too, have a little Rachel Green inside you. (If you're lucky, you might share her good looks too). Some may see you as a little spoiled, or at times naive. But overall you're a total doll. Like the real Rachel, you make your way in the world, figuring it out as you go.
Sometimes your story-book ideals of how things should turn out keep you from taking life as it comes, but that lovable vulnerability just makes people feel closer to you. You have true compassion, an idiosyncratic side your friends delight in—and, of course, great taste. Reminder, o charming one: People love it when you call them "hun."
i'm seriously amused. i recall when the six of us started out and we had to pick people to fit all the six roles, char got rachael and i got phoebs. i wanted rachael when i used to take the test in the past coz she's such a girl-next-door and she's sweet. but phoebe looks so much happier now.
and now i'm rachael. maybe i'll become a joey next time.
there's these sudoku puzzles around. and james and i tried fitting one today. and we took like an hour. and we were wondering how people could finish them in 15 minutes. i mean, i'm not einstein smart, but both of us aren't exactly dumb either.
and then we realised that we didn't read the instructions and thus didn't know how it was to be solved. dumbass. the puzzles are easy. but we sure felt stupid for not figuring it out earlier.
it's been raining much recently. and yesterday it was drizzling when i went home. the school looked so pretty. it was evening and yet it wasn't too dark. and the rain gave the whole place a very real quality. it made everything look clearer and yet draker and brighter at the same time. the colours got intense, as if they were repainted on. and it removed the muted hues which come as a result of too much exposure to the sun. it wasn't all faded and dusty anymore. and the weather. it was damp, and clean with the smell of rain. the breeze was cold, like wet fingers brushing past. it felt like the winds were hugging me and holding me. for once, cigarette smoke actually smelt okay. coz it didn't have the dusty feel anymore. i hope tomorrow will be this way too. no wait, it's openhouse, it'll need good weather.
and i ran yesterday. around my estate. i ran a lot faster than the usual. but it wasn't a very long distance, though i felt awful when i stopped. really giddy and uncomfortable and dinner felt like it would go upwards and outwards anytime. i hope to run again. i'm happy that i kept my word and ran.
Xy, your OC crush is Seth
Dorky? Maybe. Loveable? Totally! What's not to love about this cutie? A smarty like you looks beneath the surface, and that's why only a brainy hottie like Seth will do as your OC crush.
Sensible and responsible, you've got a good head on your shoulders, and you use it. Maybe you've been called wise for your years. Many famous folks were ahead of their times in high school, and you'll probably be one of them. So keep doing things in your own unique style. You're well on your way to great things. And it might be even better if you have an equally-awesome crush to have fun with along the way!
hohoho. so much for hunks eh? but seth is sweet.
Sunday, October 16, 2005
"A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're fast asleep
In dreams you lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for, you keep
Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come smiling through
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
the dream that you wish will come true"
-- disney,
a dream is a wish your heart makes --
my mom's friends came over. and i'm classified into a group of people who can learn only through activity. means, i can't sit and study. but i can pace or whatever. i can do homework or jump around while studying but i can't sit still for long periods of time and i've got a short attention span.
in addition, they were very amused by my choice of job for the future. everything that a pragmatic person will choose i believe. i don't fault my parents for not recommending me to pursue what i want, which can change very often since i can be distracted. but one thing's for sure. no desk job, no boredom, no office thingy where you sit for hours or do the usual tasks over and over. i just can't take it. my mom's friends suggested a few jobs for me, like film critic, journalist, chef and production related to filming.
i can imagine that my parents will not be pleased. but i hope someday, they'll believe in me enough, and allow me to pursue what i want.
at the same time, i also wish that i'll have the courage to pursue what i want. josef had asked me to try out Theatre Studies and Drama at VJC before, since i was very much into acting and stuff. but i never did stand fast to my decision. he called me a cow then, refering to the many herbivorous creatures that graze in a pasture, following the herd and trodding on safe ground.
lastly, i wish that i'll realise what i really want. it's time to start searching seriously and following it through.
