mmhmm..
i love saturdays. they're are such rewarding but fleeting things. but they convince you of their worthiness and persaude you to believe that every saturday is worth the wait.
in st nix, saturdays were nice coz there was NP and i'd happily go for training expecting to get shit but knowing that i'd always give my best. but any break after that was duly deserved.
now, saturdays are happy days of ignorant bliss, or rest and rejuvenation. they are also transition states into sundays which of course, isn't quite so nice, knowing that monday is a school day. but school isn't so bad anymore. i mean, school is school which will always be school. which equals homework and lessons and all the unfun stuff. but if they wasn't any unfun stuff, then the fun stuff won't seem quite as delectable will it? and fun stuff happens in school anyway.

now now. how did i spend this saturday?
i woke up late after going out on friday night. went for the Ballet Under the Stars with my sister and watched The Little Mermaid. it's quite nice i guess. though i'd hardly the one to look for if you want a fair analysis. truth be told, i didn't really know what was happening. i mean, i like plays and movies, serial dramas, maybe i'll even like choral recitals. i like skits and dances. but a whole story being danced out with hardly any dialogue is rather daunting. sure, there was this guy reading out the lines occasionally to sort of explain the plot, but since he read everything, then he couldn't quite convey the emotion in narration and the lines were pretty tacky. but the costumes and lighting was quite effective and rather colourful. and quite an experience, watching on the green under the sky(i can't say for the stars since the lights from the surrounding buildings pretty much eclipsed the quiet beauty and brightness of the stars).
but fort canning park is a beautiful place. especially at night. it has this romance about it and a feeling that time stops there when everything else whizzes by. the architecture for one, feels old-ish and a little dated, but very at ease with itself in the surroundings. but the underpass and the staircases leading there are awful deserted and scary. i wouldn't want to be awlking their alone. or with a girls. or with guys. i guess being with my sister who's older makes a difference. she leads and i follow. though that's hardly wise when i'm so much bigger in size.

but first i must comment on The Little Mermaid. it's the version by Hans Christian Anderson. the sad one. not the happy bubbly titian-haired disney version. it's the one where the mermaid dies in the end. the one of quiet sacrifice and love. i remember that my family had the video for the cartoon years ago and i cried everytime i watched it as a kid. and couldn't understand why she had to die and why the guy just won't marry her. jeez, how often in real life do things go your way anyway? but i guess it couldn't have ended any better. if she lived, someone else would have to suffer coz nothing in life comes cheap. i just felt that the ballet didn't convey the same degree of pain and love. someone glossed over in the dancing. maybe i'll hunt around for the book. which reminds me that i wanna get the chinese version of 'Cry Out Love in the Centre of the World'. the one which has since become a movie and drama.

so we ended up at ps after the ballet and my sister bought 2 work shirts. she got me a pair of capris from Dorothy Perkins. i'm beginning to quite like DP. i have a pair pants, a top, a bag and now capris. they're quite like Topshop, but haven't completely launched into the bohemia-fever. which is just as well. was totally into bohemia in sec 3, but now, there's just so many loose-ends with it and it feels so unfinished. and what if you catch something on a nail? *horror of horrors*

i haven't talked about saturday yet. i'm really lengthy today. not always that everything just flows.
the gist is that, i didn't do anything. which feels really good. i woke late, as mentioned before. had breakfast and watched 4 episodes of The Chronicles of the Heavenly Dragon. (i had lunch in between) then i napped for 4 hours. woke up, showered, had dinner and now i'm surfing. intended to watch more now but i may end up sleeping again.
reason for my sleep-deprived state: i'm on cough medication. eeky. i'm sick. again. the stupid attack of tonsilitis never really went awya. after the course of antibiotics ended(and it gave me a whole lot of inconvenience) the sick feeling just sort of lingered and had been threatening to come back. so i'm swinging between states of supposed health and then minorly pained throat. and now i'm down with cough.
my sis got me some cough mixture so i'm taking it. those pi pa gao thingies taste so much better. they taste like honeyed sweets with a cooling feeling in the throat. but cough mixture..like eewl? i find it hard to believe that anyone can addicted to it. just downing a spoonful is already torture. and it's supposed to give you a high.. like what high? i just feel sleepy after eating it. or unless maybe that's why i'm typing so much crap now. i pray i'll never get addicted to cough mixture, or any hard drug for that matter. though i must say the feeling of drugged and undisturbed sleep does feel quite rewarding.

here are 2 songs which i've been hearing for a long while and i find the lyrics and tune rather heartrending and beautiful. they just linger..

"If a picture paints a thousand words,
Then why can't I paint you?
The words will never show the you I've come to know.
If a face could launch a thousand ships,
Then where am I to go?
There's no one home but you,
You're all that's left me too.
And when my love for life is running dry,
You come and pour yourself on me.

If a man could be two places at one time,
I'd be with you.
Tomorrow and today, beside you all the way.
If the world should stop revolving spinning slowly down to die,
I'd spend the end with you.
And when the world was through,
Then one by one the stars would all go out,
Then you and I would simply fly away"
-- bread, if --

"Another summer day
Is come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm

Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aerorplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
But this was not your dream
But you always believe in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
And even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
Oh, let go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It'll all be all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home"
-- michael buble,home --

i'm not much of a michael buble fan but he has such a nice voice and singing this song, it feels even better.
and whoah, if you actually had the patience to get to the end of the entry..then wow.

captured a bunch of pictures on the new SONY cybershot recently. and it's aking so long. shall continue tomorrow.

i'm done. gonna sleep. i'm getting dazed and shaky from the medicine.

happy 18th khengwee!

harhs. i have just a few minutes to spare before i shoo off and catch my beloved OC! finally got around to sacrificing sleep for it. and doens't help that i gotta be up at 5.30 tomorrow.

i had a most horrible tuition just now. i was so mind-boggled? and sleepy and dazed and thick-headed that not a crumb really went in. my tutor asked me the same question 5 times and each time i gave the same vague and wrong answer. i kept pinching myself to keep awake but no. the sleep devil had taken me. so i still don't understand continuous random variables but i have to get the tutorial done. i believe my tutor is somewhat amazed by me, not that that's anything new. she gets rather surprised when i can identify that something is a circle or ellipse and thinks like hey! maybe i ain't that dumb after all. then sometimes i give the weirdest answers she wonders whether i'm not stupid after all. hee.

went with the class to watch War of the Worlds today. khengwee was awful nice, treating like 14 of us to the movie. like whoah. ate yoshi for lunch, yummy beef bowl!
anyway, we made it just on time so i ended up being seated between yisheng and khengwee and i may say safely that i was as amusing as the movie. the Winnie-the-Pooh balloon yisheng got for khengwee kept bobbing around so i held it during the movie. but then i'd get freaked and forget about the balloon so it kept bouncing back into khengwee's line of vision. and i stupidly jumped out of my seat 4-5 times? coz the stupid monster tripod leg thing kept appearing suddenly on screen and i'd freak and jump out of my seat. they had a nice time laughing at me. to quote yisheng," i wasn't scared by the movie. but everytime soemthing sudden happened, xiaoyan would jump and scare me." haha. i'm such a wuss! get so freaked so easily. hat's why i don't watch horror flicks.
but honestly, the ending for the movie was pretty bad. i mena, you'd think that such an action-packed movie probably can't live up to it with a good ending, but somehow you never quite thought it could be quite so lame. all the big powerful lightning-bolt-emitting things got defeated by bacteria which wore down their immune system. like excuse me? hah.

okiedokey. OC!

went for the judo match yesterday.
we WON! it's the first match in my hwachong life which i watched and we won!
the first time where the school song didn't sound like a funeral march. i'm glad!

there was this really dumb class cheer:
A-N-T-H-O-N-Y
anthon beat you till you cry
from high high, in the sky
he will squash you like a fly.
byebye!

the playing/fighting was rather scary to watch though. and sorta gross. but i guess it's a sport and an art.

got home to cook dinner for my parents. my sis and i made cha soba, tomato broth, salad, pickled japanese cucumbers, codfish and strawberries and yoghurt. yummy. sis also bought haagen daaz! hope momma and dadda enjoyed the advanced bdae celebration for momma!

met my squadmates in town after a frightfully long talk by some EDB guy. he's awful boring and i don't think he took the hints that we weren't in the least interested. my dadda can give a much better presentation and way more informative. and it wasn't really fair, to compare with all the developing countries and Asian economies. why didn't they pick say, Switzerland or something?
so, we hung out at pastamania then walked aimlessly before taking neos which turned out pretty well. haven't seen eileen in such a long while.

saw the pictures lynn took of my squad at their CCA farewell. sob. i'm awful sad that i didn't go. i mean, i had my sister's graduation. but they're like my squad, my little babies! though not so little anymore.

off to dinner now. sigh. my world revolves around tutorials and crap.

my mind is a tangle of sorts. thoughts i want to express, thoughts i want to retain, thoughts which are random and don't seem to fit anywhere.

i passed chem. for the first time in one and a half years, i passed chem. i don't know which is harder to digest, the fact that i took so long to pass it or that i actually passed it.
and then i'm convinced, it was a fluke. one of those 'tyco' rounds. but whatever the case, it's just the little encouragement which i needed, to tell me, that i can do it, like i used to.

i grew. by 0.5cm. so it was kinda cheating. i took my deep breathe and expanded by 0.5cm.

i have half a year to go. half a year, to make up for the other 3 halves. i'm not gonna sit around figuring whether depressions awaits me after the prelims like what ms wong said about people getting all stationery and depressed post-prelims. i'm not gonna wait to find out whether i'm blue today or the next. i just want to be bubbly me, full of good cheer and fun.

tomorrow the class is gonna support anthon at the judo finals. ms wong was awful nice to let us go. yay!
and maybe i'll be watching Ballet Under the Stars with my sister. the Hans Christen Anderson Little Mermaid ballet. i hope we get tix!
and maybe i'll meet mich and eileen and my beloved squadmates for a movie or meal this week.
and i don't want to think of anything else.

"Here I am, where I've been
I’ve walked a hundred miles in tobacco skin,
And my clothes are worn & gritty.
And I know ugliness,
Now show me something pretty.
I was a dumb punk kid with nothing to lose
And too much weight for walking shoes.
I could have died from being boring.
And as for loneliness,
She greets me every morning."
-- patrick park,something pretty --

Xiaoyan
20
business
U of M-Ann Arbor


SPRING break!!
fishball noodle soup
yellow gold heart locket
3.7 GPA
DSLR
cashmere winter coat


cher clara chuan debs terence prong san xuewei toufu 04s71 damian yisheng