Saturday, June 25, 2005
holy s*** i really shouldn't be online now.
i have 28 minutes left of this day. of which i was supposed to do 2 chapters. and now officially, i've only done a quarter of 1.
i really wonder whether my strategy is gonna work. the ditching everything and studying strategically. it's getting me a little worried since everyone's trying to cram everything.
i've never witnessed studying fever in full force before. HC is really a mugger school.
on the other hand, i went exercising today. i know i should be staying home and studying. but if i'm going to be so unproductive at it, may as well channel my energies into something else.
i went swimming and running today! i got a little burnt and ouch! it hurts.
i tried out the treadmill for 23 minutes and finished 2.4km. what a disaster!
i decreased the speed to fast towards the end so i nearly just collapsed after i stopped. was really giddy and i was pretty scared for a moment.
but then, i lost weight! i lost 2.4kg! since before the camp. muahahah! i'm so happy. just 3 more to go!
but then of course i got really tired when i got home so i had to sleep. and i did eat an ice cream just now, which will probably add some cals. oops.
aside: why must we grow up? i know there's many more adventures ahead, but there's also more work, more pain, more heartache. and with people growing up, people die too. and i don't want any of them to die. not my family, not my friends and not my dog.
people do say that i'm quite oblivious to what happens around me and indifferent too. if i were really that successful at shutting out the world, i wouldn't feel pained every now and then.
right. i should go now. there's this family friends gathering dinner tomorrow. and that's gonna suck out 5 hours.
Friday, June 24, 2005
hello. hello you. hello again.
excuse that display of random loss of senses. i'm in a chirpy mood again. lalala~
so today was a nice day. not a take-my-breath-away nice day. just a nice day. it's a wonder how one can get so little done at home, so little that studying outside is even more productive.
met potion and daph in town. and we sat and studied at yukiyaki steamboat/ushi/icecream buffet place. i don't really like the food though. there's lots to eat though. and we just kept giving potion the food. especially the ice cream coz it was more fun to play so i play and he eat. hee.
i got 3 chapters done today. so i need to read the notes to make sure that everything goes it. but i realised how i've been studying aimlessly without keeping the objectives in mind. so potion really put me into the right perspective and jeez, he summarised the whole chapter into a page! and me continually staring and wondering how to get all 30 pages in. gee.
and we loosely fixed up the school-holiday monday to go out! there won't be many more days left to slack around..
i bought Jem's album Finally Woken and i'm listening to it now. it pretty nice. not so singable though. i'm beginning to think that Just A Ride is a really nice song. i saw this brown gauzy low-front spag from BYSI, so tempted to get it. i shall get through the blocks and go shopping! i haven't had real retail therapy!
i had a brainwave just now. then i forgot what it was all about.
i think it was something about getting comfortable with yourself.
i believe we all exude some kidn of aura and we present an image outwardly. and it is very important that we hold true to our values, our personality and be happy, comfortable and satisfied with yourself. and i'm aiming for that.
there is a style, a person and an identity that belongs solely to me. and in every way i want to be unique! bubbly, fun-loving, driven, daring ..
everything i want to be and more!
as part of my newly-resolute self, i shall exercise tomorrow! i'm going to run and go to the gym and then swim! yay!
as for studying, it'll come to me.
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
today was the most unproductive day
ever.
i mean usually, i get a little bit done. today i broke a record. i finished 3 pages of bio after a whole day.
i did however finish a whole novel. but i don't suppose that counts as a worthy accomplishment.
my days are generally classified under 2 catgories.
1. the days like today when i don't get ANYTHING done.
2. the days when i get some stuff done. usually when i'm doing math. maybe 10 sums in a whole day.
sob. i can't seem to get any urgency into myself. to rush myself to get work done. either i read, or fall into some reverie.
i however can touch in depth on Anne of the Island. it's such a sweet sweet book. so gentle and feeling. i'm such the Anne/Gilbert shipper. so there's really no other possible permutation in this case. they make a beautiful couple and i love the story of which patience, trials and searching brought her to her ultimate destiny. aww..
Monday, June 20, 2005
i was totally off my rocker yesterday.
i guess nothing was yellow and dandy. though i must say i'm starting to show a predilection for yellow. (did i use that word right?) suddenly i think yellow is pretty and all. and apparently, your colour choice for clothes and whatnot reflects a similar state of mind. so technically i'm supposed to be yellow and dandy.
but then last night, without any warning, i just fell into some crappy mood.
you know how your guard just drops now and then, and you feel oh-so-very-horrible.
an excerpt from yesteray:
- xy** something's missing says:
i guess when you were a little girl, you had all these dreams and fancies
- xy** something's missing says:
you weren't too sure what kind of problems would come by but you knew what you wanted and that you were gonna get it. someday.
- xy** something's missing says:
but now i wake everyday. and every dream seems further away. more out of reach. there isn't really something that you want to live for. knowing that every day will be the same.
you know one of those moods where you look at the sky and if it rains, you'll say it's a symbol or something.
but moods, as they are wont to come quickly, they too fade fast. and what remains should be emptiness, until it's replaced with some wholesome sweetness.
until the next mood comes.
but in between, i still think yellow's pretty. so is red and brown. and as much as possible, i don't want to think black.
