Friday, May 13, 2005
woke up at nine plus today. my sis took me to coffee bean at holland V to have breakfast. her treat. yummy, we shared a seasame bagel with cheese and i had toast with scrambled eggs and sausages. her scrambled eggs and salmon was really yummy, naturally flavoured by the fish see?
right so. my sister is a health freak. she likes running. she likes exercising coz she says it keeps you alert for a week. i still have yet to agree. i mean, when you exercise you burn energy so technically you're supposed to be more tired.
the point is. she's screaming at me to go jogging. with her. did i ever mention i have running phobia? i don't run coz i can't run and i'm scared of running. coz i can't run. right point taken. and she's still screaming at me. so i guess.., i'm gonna have to run now. or wait. walk.
i thought today was gonna be fine. i got into the car and Go West was playing on the radio. all victorious and confident, intent on driving away your fears. but friday the 13th had other things planned for me.
things have an odd way of just feeling wrong. and i guess after a while, i had talked myself into a mood. i started getting all weird and wired and started imagining worst-possible scenarios and freaking myself out.
it was good to head out though. ate a lot at nydc with cher. but i have a sore throat of sorts now so i'm kinda worried. i've been downing lots of water, juice, fruits and salad. i bought OC mix 4! i'm terribly broke now. that's an understatement. but i just had to have it. only HMV carries the mix 3: christmukkah album and it's like 33 bucks. weep.
"I'd swim across Lake Michigan
I'd sell my shoes
I'd give my body to be back again
In the rest of the room
To be alone
With you
To be alone
With you
To be alone with you
To be alone with you
You gave your body to the lonely
They took your clothes
You gave up a wife and a family
You gave your ghosts
To be alone
With me
To be alone
With me
To be alone with me, you went upon a tree
To be alone with me you went upon a tree
I've never known a man who loved me..."
-- sufjan stevens,
to be alone with you --
with a song, signing off.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
i've been in a pretty good mood for the pat week or so. i just hope it's here to stay. good i guess aside from work. chem NMR and math numerical methods and the bio kidneys have been rather depressing. work's been pretty much undone coz i don't want and don't know how to do them. waiting for the weekends to roll around so i can sit down straight for a long while and plough through the ever-increasing pile of work.
"If you leave, don't leave now
Please don't take my heart away
Promise me just one more night
Then we'll go our separate ways
We always had time on our sides
Now it's fading fast
Every second every moment
We've gotta make it last
I touch you once, I touch you twice
I won't let go at any price
I need you now like I needed you then
You always said we'd still be friends someday
If you leave, I won't cry
I won't waste a single day
But if you leave, don't look back
I'll be running the other way
Seven years went under the bridge
Like time was standing still
Heaven knows what happens now
You've gotta say you will
I touch you once, I touch you twice
I won't let go at any price
I need you now like I needed you then
You always said we'd meet again someday"
-- nada surf,
if you leave --
a song from OC mix 2. i'm really starting to like the songs from OC. they're really mellow.
Monday, May 09, 2005
feeling a little dazed. all that water didn't do me much good. missed pe again. and just lazed about school.
had lunch with the class, it was a very amusing conversation. the things people say! i marvel at them.
watched OC. something got me thinking.
Kirsten: Sandy, you can't know everything about someone. it's what makes them interesting.
yep. there are all these little details that spring up on you. surprise you and keep you constantly intrigued. that's what keeps you entertained and keeps you wanting to know more.
Sunday, May 08, 2005
happy mothers' day!
amazing. my sis and i have been at it since forever. just cooking and preparing and whatever for today's mothers' day lunch. it was a success. my mom had some other 'mother' friends over. i'm sorta tired now though. thankfully we on't do this everyday. i'll never have the energy to get to school. wonder what it's like to have someone cook for you?
yesterday was the school sports meet. i went to school and left immediately. had breakfast at cafe cartel. then we just walked around. passed by this daniel yam store so i just decided to try this burgundy mix fushcia full-length tube dress. it's pretty cool. yihan was saying something like how my older looks are an advantage.
it's just kinda scary. how like 1 and a half years ago, i was just preparing for my sec 4 grad night and now we're looking on to senior prom. kinda early to be planning this. but how i've gone through so much since then. then i was looking to a nice long break and getting excited, truly excited about jc. now, it's just whoah, yeah, whatever.
i did go home and dig out my old dress. it still fits better than the one i tired on in the store. though both are like the same size. i love my old dress, tulle and organza, a huge pouffy baby blue thing. if a dress could ever exude innocence and princessy-ness, that did.
i did get 3 cds though. geez. a joni mithcell cd, OC mix 2(i'm starting to be really fanatic about it) and the soundtrack for the china telecast of the movie turn left turn right. joni mitchell's hard to hear. she's throaty, worn and jaded-ish. the lyrics are really nice, but i just can't quite hear what she's singing, though i guess with time, i'll like it. as for the other 2, i haven't even heard them. but ohmigosh, OC mix 4 is out!
so anyway, i've been watching a lot of OC lately. and it's scaring me how those people are only 16 or 17 and they look pretty mature. so not the look we have here. the past week, i've been pondering, there are 7 years of teenlife and after that..what happens? we have these mood swings and whatever apparently associated with puberty, and what happens when you're 20 and you still have them? there were so many years initially, i needed 2 hands to count. and now, i have like 2 fingers. and then zilch. nada.
i feel liek this ancient species of sorts. i've always wanted to be older. now i just plain want the clock to stop moving forward. every birthday i'm telling myself that i want to make a difference, make it memorable, and everytime i end up disappointing myself, or have this stupid blemish there, some unforgettable dumb incident that i'm embarassed about. coz i did something totally immature. urgh.
yeah whatever.
