Saturday, January 29, 2005
sigh. i can't wait for the next gp essay analysis session. i'm not being sarcastic here. i mena, so far, we've only dealt with questions set in the singaporean context or about realistic things like science, which doens't really interest me. but we'll prolly start dealing with abstract topics and then i wanna know how does mr wong deal systematically with all the points.
Humans search for truth and happiness in all the wrong places. it just came to me all of a sudden over dinner. my mom, sis and i were discussing things about to what extent can you do a favour for someone. something about how we shouldn't carry things for others from overseas even though it may be a close friend. coz you never know what's in the package. and somehow i ended up defending an ex-classmate. let's just throw trust oout of the window. we shall not even mention ties here. but just, believeing simply coz there's no wish to give up. when you do, there's nothing left. i need to make myself understood better.
meaning, i'm defending the human race and all its cruelties and lies rather than anyone else. doesn't it seem like one futile attempt?
mother earth has already dealt us with all sorts of natural destruction. and now we seem to enjoy inflicting torture on one another right?
so what truth is there to find? i'm in one of my reflective phases. so exactly, what truth is there? and what happiness?
i don't believe in searching for truth. i believe that whatever truth exists is just some painful realisation. whatever search for purpose will reveal only some kind of mental torment. so while we're at it, just think, what's the point in searching? we'll prolly be so disillusioned by the truth that we'll be driven to insanity.
Thursday, January 27, 2005
love a little lose a little cry a little.
sometimes i don't get my dog. i love him to bits. it's almost as if, by loving him alone, you're protected. but it don't work that way. he bit me again today. sometimes he just gets so temperamental. i know he doesn't mean it coz he gets real sad after. but it's getting different. he coz bite me then but it didn't hurt so much, both physically and emotionally. but now, it just sends me crying. geez., get a grip man!
watched 2046 today. i'm not even sure i interpretetd it correctly. it's so abstract, ambiguous and intangible. kinda like you get it, or you don't. to me, 2046 isn't a year or a room. it's the feelings, the emotions and the story of a time before. and apparently, 2046 can't be lost. it's something you can't free yourself off or shake it away from it.
2046 is a past. a beautful moment and an everlasting memory.
and sometimes to me, 2046 is here to stay.
