Thursday, December 23, 2004
i'm. so. dead. tired.
typing this does sound pretty bleak. and what more to those who read my blog. i'm like planting the seeds of exhaustion in glad hearts or killing off all the fatigued minds.
tomorrow's xmas eve. i wonder if any atmosphere is gonna suddenly materialise. i've always wanted to spend xmas overseas. especially in a western country. cold-ish. with snow, holly, mistletoe, berries and pine cones. i know this doesn't sound in the least catholic and even somewhat commercialised. but i ain't quite certain what i'm supposed to feel.
What Ice Cream Flavor Are You?
You scored 55.6% Vanilla
Contrary to what you may expect, Vanilla ice cream types aren't bland or boring. Rather, you’re probably quite gregarious, impulsive, fun loving and expressive. You may have a hard time making up your mind -- Vanillas are known for never saying no, even when they probably should. Vanilla types also tend to take a romantic, hopeful view of life. Your motto: Live for the moment, and everything will work out fine. When it comes to romance and relationships, Vanilla types are happiest with your own kind -- only someone equally spontaneous and energetic will do. Fun fact: Vanilla is far and away the most popular ice cream flavor.
You scored 22.2% Chocolate
If you're a Chocolate ice cream type, you are flirtatious, charming and even a little dramatic. No doubt you're an intuitive and sensitive person who puts a high value on family, relationships and romance. But your instincts may sometimes steer you wrong: You tend to be easily influenced in directions that you know aren't the best for you, and you have a tendency toward self-indulgence. Still, your liveliness and your trusting nature have earned you many admirers and friends. When it comes to romance and relationships, Chocolate types are compatible with reliable Butter Pecans and high-focus, high-energy Chocolate Chips. Fun fact: Chocolate is the second most popular ice cream flavor.
You scored 11.1% Chocolate Chip
If you're a Chocolate Chip ice cream type, you're a creative force to be reckoned with. No doubt you've got a competitive streak a mile wide. The good news is that it brings out the best in you by forcing you to live up to your own demanding standards. Still, you can be rather unforgiving at times with those who don't share your vision and drive. Friends value your magnetism, charm and originality. When it comes to romance and relationships, Chocolate Chips are best off with high-achieving Butter Pecans and empathetic, insightful Chocolates. Fun fact: Chocolate chip ice cream lovers tend to also indulge in other “chunky” flavors, such as Cookie Dough, Mint Chip and Rocky Road.
You scored 11.1% Strawberry
Strawberry ice cream types are naturally loyal, honest and trustworthy. No doubt you have a devoted circle of friends who rely on you for the right answer to any moral dilemma. Like Chocolate Chip types, you tend to set high standards for yourself, but you are also somewhat shy and reserved. And you don't like to admit it, but you're also a tad pessimistic. Maybe you're just disappointed that no one can seem to live up to your own sense of responsibility and forthrightness. When it comes to romance and relationships, Strawberry types do well with optimistic, outgoing Chocolate Chips. Fun fact: Strawberry is tied with Butter Pecan as the third most popular ice cream flavor.
You scored 0% Butter Pecan
What Lip-Gloss Flavor Are You?
You’re Vanilla Swirl!
You're a classic in every sense of the word. Your exquisite taste and timeless style makes vanilla the obvious choice for you. Its rich, yet subdued essence makes this gloss a treat on it's own or over your favorite Chanel lipstick. And contrary to what you may have heard, people who love vanilla are not bland or boring -- studies show they tend to be romantic, expressive and optimistic!
twice and i'm still vanilla. oddly, i like chocolate and coffee more. and vanilla is a tad too sweet for my liking.
i packed all afternoon till dinner at 9. i cleared out my cabinets and yes i can finally see my desk. since i'm tearing down my cabinets, everything's gotta be packed neatly. disconnected my old comp and and chucked all the wires and whatnot.
i'm thankful my packing job is done. i've been at it on and off for a week. grateful that i'm not tearing done my wardrobe, else i'll have to pack my clothes and dresser. and those board games i used to play. eeek.
frankly, i haven't felt quite so drained in a while. i woke up aching all over this morning. it's quite a shame to be confessing that the aches came from playing 'catching' and spinning them around. coughing has now morphed into a stomach-wrenching affair.
sigh i was all planning on watching chicago earlier on. was sifting through some junk and i found the booklet for the musical which i had attended a couple of years back. the plot sounds really intriguing. this must sound stupid since i've already watched it, like hey! i should know. but that snippet of my memory must have fallen out. ack. the vcd i purchased aeons ago. like early last year, or the year before. never did touch it since. the point is, i'm not gonna watch it now. maybe i shall reward myself with it tomorrow instead. before or after i pack my suitcase.
shucks. i sound like some hen. pack pack peck peck! a dull and boring arse obsessed with cleanliness and neatness. oh wait. try a no-life trying to spruce up its existence. oh wait! where did that come from? i went into autopilot and look what crap came out?
i keep saying i'm a friggin' no-life. some default setting i presume. that's all gonna change.
going off to shower. covered in all teh grime and dust. i'm sticky and massively uncomfortable. tally-ho!
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
hot hot. the weather's hot. and the thing about spending time outdoors is that i always feel the trapped heat in me the following day.
yesterday's cip was fun! honestly, if cip is as fun all the time, it wouldn't feel like a chore anymore to complete those hours.
it was really fun to play with the kids at gracehaven and talk to them. it sorta teleported me back to being a kid too. all those childish games which we won't dare engage in anymore.
but kids these days are different. they're losing the childhood innocence a lot faster than we probably did. some have pretty disturbing thoughts too.
and it was good to cach up with the class. like a nibbler to returning back to school. not that i want to i mean.
right. now it's back to packing. pack pack pack.
Monday, December 20, 2004
yesterday was one of the better spent sundays in my life. not fun or interesting.
it all started with a mass in the morning. and since it's the xmas season, what more is there to talk about except how xmas has become so commercialised that it has lost its true meaning? i never quite got what xmas was about. but it has come to mean a lot more than just gifts. it's like a mini-chinese new year. i like it coz it gives everyone an opportunity to be gathering together and being all family-like. i'm not saying that we can't meet up during other times. but xmas just means family to me. and this year, my sis and i made special candles for all the families in our extended family.
in the afternoon, this distant uncle came over to discuss renovation plans. he's actually really nice. and quite funky too. he's got blonde highlights and wavy shoulder-length hair. okay that's not the point.
we've been on about renovating since forever. i was supposed to fix my room at least a year ago. but knowing my powers for procrastinating, nothing really got done. we're repainting parts of the house.
and my room gonna go. it's quite embarrassing coz my room's in a mess. partly that so i can't really stand my room. my uncle's in the designing line so he was like,"actually your room is spacious just a bit.." and when he had to take measurements for my room, i felt like i could just sink into the ground. i've never felt as bad about my room before. ack. i finished watching house of sand and fog.
then poof! i started packing. freak, i've got so much junk. loads of it. i threw out like 15 soft toys, 30 books from my childhood(they should have gone ages ago). just packed and bound stuff, and discarded so many things.
i can't wait for my new room. i'm apprehensive, like before a change. and i made decisions simply because i couldn't come to a decision. i wanted it nice and cosy. like the pink and salmon pink it is now. but it's all gonna go. even the cherrywood cabinets. it's gonna become creamy white with darkwood cabinets. all no-nonsense stuff. with sharp corners.
it's all pretty shocking. i'm not a sucker for white. but i'm going to like it eventually.
sometimes i wonder why i do the things that i do. and people close to me wonder too, why i make such weird choices sometimes as if i don't give thought to what i'm doing. but perhaps it's precisely coz that i do, that i make such choices.
i'm going to iron out all those kinks and complications. and i only wonder why i can be quite so hopeful about next year. hopeful can't quite express it even. it's almost that i don't want this to end but i want the year to close, so it can bring forth something new which i have yet to ruin. and with this clean slate perhaps i can get things right.
"Would you be happier if you were someone together
Would the sun shine brighter if you played a bigger part
Would you be wonderful if it wasn't for the weather
You're gonna be just fine"
-- the corrs,
would you be happier --
it isn't about being happy. i've been digging for it. ever since i was 13, being happy has been a new year's resolution.
it's about just being me.
Sunday, December 19, 2004
i can't blog a nice tasty issue now,
i've had a number of revelations but 8 minutes to shut down the comp, shower and scram out of the house.
darn i'll be back tonight. wait for me!
