was out on friday. went back to st nix to visit the sec3s. played a bit of b-ball. then we headed to macs for dinner. mich was really nice to come with me. thanks gurl! so we just sat and chatted.

mich: you sound really down and you gbook isn't working. we go out again k?

i am super pissed and fuming. i could strangle the HC pe system. i have to get a friggin' D for running just to get through. and now they want me to run again. screw them. it's the best i've ran for like twp years for goodness sake.

sat was a long long day. started out early by heading to bio lectures in the morning. i was five minutes late and all the bio lecturers are PMS-ing people, so i didn't wanna gte caught and screamed at. decided to just camp at class bench till someone messaged me about a break then i scooted in and so nearly got caught.
LD started at 11 and lasted till 3. i met the coach for the first time and i think he's awful disppointed with me. i mean, hey, i've only come 4 lessons. and am i supposed to know everything? yeah but still. i tried my hand at using the lion head. that freaking thing weighs a lot if you are thinking of suspending it in the air for a long time. i kept crashing it on my head and shoulders.
headed back to shower and reached NJ around 5. watched cheryl and daph play soem tennis. i shall just confront my worst fears. i'm starting to think i have less and less to say to them. we are activity people as a group. so you have to give us an activity to bond over. we don't do just sitting around and talking. coz i don't know what's going on in their lives. and this, freaks me. i think i say much more to shannon than i do to them.
was wearing this flowy, semi-translucent, wrap skirt. tell me never to wear it again. the wind blew and just walking alone unseats the skirt. and once, the whole thing flew up right in NJ. the skirt material is see-through and the lining is really short. so basically everything could be seen. thank god for the invention of tights. i'm not wearing it again till feli helps me sew in a longer lining.
afterwards, angela, cheryl, lily, alina, shannon, jiachien and i went to KAP to just talk. i can't stand KAP. we go there ever so often it's getting stupid. as if as long as we meet, we'll always end up there. then, lily, alina, angel and i bused back.
i'm very thankful that i'm beginning to have more of a life now even though 16 is drawing to a close. the sad thing is, i'm also having less and less of a conscience.

my mom called when i wasn't home. she just calls, not so much to check up on us though i'm certain part of the reason is to anyway. coz i know they miss us so they'll just call for updates and such. the thing is, each time they call, sis is never home. she gets back at anything between 10 and 2. either she's working coz of her internship or she's out with james. and they get back at unearthly hours. and at least 3 time smy mom called and i wasn't home. and she doesn't call everyday.
i know she's wondering where in the wide world i could be on school days. it's true that i'm heading out a lot this week since she's not home else i'll never get out. after tomorrow, it's all gonna tone down. but as far as i'm concerned, only on tuesday was i back earlier than 8. and that was for teh tuition which didn't happen. other than that, only monday was coz of school. the rest, i just got back past 10. 4 days in the week! god forbid.

and i shall emphasize this point. i haven't done any work in 5 weeks. and i don't think i even care.

there's tennis later with terence. and i think i'm gonna cancel again. i don't feel like playing. i know it's awful mean of me. but i just don't feel like it.

got back at 10 plus from watching Troy. it is wow. everyone, go watch! it's spectacular. and better than LOTR: ROTK. coz in so many ways it's less predictable since we've not seen something like this. it's kinda sad too. i was crying in the movie and the person on my left kept glancing at me.
hector of troy rawks! eric bana really acted well. and he so portrayed the charcter that i'm in love with hector. he is THE man. and brad pitt as archilles ain't bad either. his bod is really good even at 40 and all. but orlando bloom as paris really sucks. he can't play anything except LOTR legolas. he did manage to act the part of the coward though. but so many time sin the movie you wish you could just bash him up. haha.
ah! hector! eric bana. right, so he's on my list. above rodrigo santoro. must go check how old he is. hee

i would love to crash NJ. but i was just wondering whether it was just an NJ affair and outsiders aren't allowed?

yawn. i'm on the verge of collapsing absolutely. i got back at 9.36pm.
what was i thinking? LD ended at 6.30. i know i was supposed to go to the library to return those darned books. i really should. especially since i have such thick volumes. but no. i decided to go to venezia's and we just sat there, shannon, lisa and i till 9pm. did not return the books. did not do hw. did not anything.
thank goodness my mom's gonna be back soon. else, i'll never get anything done. at all.

i didn't sleep during the bio lect today. though it didn't make much difference considering that i happily forgot to bring my notes again. now i have to recopy 2 sets. bio AND chem. unfortunately, i slept during chem tutorial. i realy don't know how i'll last tomorrow.

there was this talk about NS stuff in school today. they skit was rather comical and the video was quite an 'eye-opener'. i just laughed silently. was imagining what the 04s28 guys would look like in NS. and seriously, i doubt any of them will last. the idea is unconceivable. maybe they'll get desk jobs?

and Troy tomorrow is still on. yeps. most prolly anyway. i'm so very tempted to just pon tomorrow. school's starting to suck big time. and if i'm perpetually asleep, what's the point in coming? so i slacked in NJ. at least i understood 30-40% of what went on just through listening in lectures.
but now, i'm not doing a shit. not even econs. econs i just stone. or focus my energies on not falling asleep. maths is like, i never do listen. no wonder i'm screwing it up. chem is hopeless since i can't get a thing and i focus on why teh teacher sounds liek she's panting after every sentence she utters. and bio, either i sleep or i just stoen and copy notes. i only listen in GP and even then, i'm beginning to sleep too.
i don't even dare to daydream any longer. i not only don't get further on my dream, i just go straight to dreamland. i sleep. good lord. what's up with me?

the hilarity of this. they sprang a chem quiz last week. i einiminiminimo-ed the thing. for all. except 2 questions. and guess what? i got 5/8. i never listened to a single lecture. did not get a thing about the rate constant. and i got 5. this is rubbish. this girl really tried and she got 1. one just handed in a blank sheet. this is plain stupid. and it's freaking me. i have never ever sat for a quiz without knowing a single thing.

just today. i was discussing with cher about the quote i mentioned yesterday. about living and existing. she said if i had something i'd be living. and i said no. i'd be immortal. and she asked, really? my answer was, if it was really mutual, then yeah. that is truly living.
"love doesn't make the world go round. it just makes the ride worthwhile" you have to agree with me.

i'm gonna be unttering a whole string of gibberish.
i'm a stupid idiot. i said i'll sleep by 10 and obviously it's past it. i must not sleep in lessons anymore. i've already slept through everything today.

chatted with mao during GP and got called so i uttered some crap and the teacher couldn't exactly say that i wasn't listening. 4 other guys in my class are gonna try for Idol. and mao split his pants playing chapteh today. the thought is plain amusing.

found this webby for quotes so i reestablished the quote part. http://www.houseofquotes.com Oscar Wilde is one great man.
"to live is the rarest thing. most people exist and that is all." i want to live too. else i ain't no different from a stone.

finished Going on Sixteen today. i won't call it an all-time favourite. in fact it was rather embarrassing carrying the book around since it looks just like a Sweet Valley Twins book. and when you're at an age that even SVU sounds below you, holding it wasn't exactly flattering. the plot's sweet. and in many ways, it got me reflecting. in so many ways, i have got such a crappy personality. and the girl's so strong in the book though she wasn't always so. it's kinda late to be reading this when i have less than a month of being 16 left. there's so much unfinished business. and yet, i don't wish to relive it again. maybe certain parts, but being 16 isn't all bubblegum and candy.

i ran for LD treasurer. decided that i can't run for vice or pres. i don't know enough of it to try. but i'll run for H&F pres. and i had yoga again today. it's nice and achey. these dull aches are gettin more rewarding knowing that i'm busting fat cells or at least gonna be made of more substantial(muscle) material.

today's math test. sucked royally. i've decided that if i get at least 6/30 i'll be happy. it wsn't that bad considering i practiclaly ddn't touch anything. but as long as i scored higher than the 5/25 i got in NJ i'm glad.

and yesterday, i had 5-items. i finally found out my running timing and it's nothign to be proud of though it's a vast improvement form teh 18 plus last year and the 19 pkus earlier this year. it's 17.17. it's an E. last year i was 15 years old and this year i'm 17 just coz HC says so. thanks man. but my SBJ improved to 174cm. i pulled 20 pull ups and i broke my PB for sit and reach. 64cm! compared to last year's 58. i'm glad. so it's a bronze with 21 pts. whatever.

ooh. and i feel it in my bones. it's gonna be a good week. gonna return the library books tomorrow and most prolly will be watching Troy with val on thurs. friday is go back to NP day. shall have dinner with the sec 3s if they want me then maybe meet s28 people. it's all part of a nice warm and fuzzy routine. and sat? maybe shop with val. there's definitely LD and i'll most prolly be going for the NJ college day. thank God i'm living. i'd hate to just exist.

and of course. thanks mich. for the blog template. i don't care if a picture paints a thousand words. for now, those words matter a great deal. till the picture comes of course. :P

sec3s: all the tagboards weren't working so i shall just write here. and i have pretty much the same thing to say. you know, you3 ju4 you3 san4. your squad was really close in the beginning, so you'll survive and ride out teh storm eentually. don't take anything too hard. and just think, if you have really bad stuff it can't get much worse. and whatever it is, don't give up. like tammy. it's crappy shit now. but if you let yourself be affected by it, it'll get you nowhere. if you push through, it'll really get better. you know, all teh seniors have been through this, like last year i kept harping on it. heck the 2nd class. at max, you fail and try again. so maybe your squad's drills were better than most. even if standard falls, it's okay. just pick yourselves up and try again. my squad finally passed 2nd class in sec 4 nearing POP leh. we still managed a unit for a year, we still fell apart. we still barely keep contact now. but we had what we had and we made good use of it. just watch out for each other and keep teh encouragement going. don't make assumptions like who should be doing what k? you guys will make it through lah. really. wo dui ni men you xin xin. and you guys have activity this friday? until what time? want to go out for dinner or something? i can come down if you guys want...and watch you guys have activity. hehe.

i feel a slight bit accomplished. a puny bit. i finally did some work today. and that was coz i had no other choice. absolutely had to. else i'd die. i typed out the project work proposal. uh. my group is faced with a mountain of a task. it looks very untackle-rable. actually i think all the pw looks that way.

i realise i rarely blog on weekends. except sunday. on friday, played volleyball after school. met shannon, potion, cheryl, daphne and alina. then played squash. was supposed to go watch van helsing but we couldn't get tix. ended up eating dinner then cheryl and daphne had to leave. then we did the most incredible thing. the four of us went to skate park and sat down to chat. we went to the place which guys go and do skateboarding. it was like at 9 and alina was freaking out. she was all ready to run off. it's quite fun actually but we fed lots of mosquitoes. and we chatted a lot.

saturday. i went for sports meet but had to go for lion dance in the end. it was my second time at lion dance and already i had to perform for the welcome ceremony for the sports meet. i can safely and very surely say that st nix sports meet is way better. the emcee speaks mandarin nonstop. what dui yuan men, jia you! real gross.
then i practised for lion dance. we're performing for MAF(mid-autumn festival) and i am supposed to be the back of the lion. so i had to half squat and let the girl jump on to my knees and support her. nearly buckled. we kept practising till my knees couldn't make it anymore. then i did drums for a while. finally got the qishi part right after a long while. then we went and played basketball.
after everything ended at about 12. headed home and met cher to go out at around 2 plus. then we shopped. i bought 2 tanks. but i wish i bought more. that's the shopaholic in me speaking. i just need to buy stuff else i'll go cranky. want this bag in the annexe but it costs 49 bucks! and i so don't need this but i need lots of going-out slippers. without heels. went to marche for dinner. we finally commemorated our results and returned the treat. ate a lot. really full after that. i have decided that i'll sign up for Heer card. i'm spending way too much and that can hopefully help me save. like real.

and tada. i picked up THE form. i'm gonna audition for Singapore Idol. there.
go on. faint. i'm been doing all manner of queer things of late. may as well be even queerer.

Xiaoyan
20
business
U of M-Ann Arbor


SPRING break!!
fishball noodle soup
yellow gold heart locket
3.7 GPA
DSLR
cashmere winter coat


cher clara chuan debs terence prong san xuewei toufu 04s71 damian yisheng