this is stupid. i ended at 5.20 today. but i just didn't want to go home. you know, when the mood just catches on and you just feel like hanging somewhere. well, it was one of those days again. in fact, i'm having those days really often now.
went home eventually after stoning for 20minutes. dropped by the mrt station to top up a farecard and tried getting home. then i got stuck in the rain. i ahd my umbrella and all, but i'm really scared of lightning and the houses nearby are kinda short so i didn't dare to go home. stopped by at sheryl's house since hers is closer to the road than mine. didn't dare to walk any further. so i just hung at her car porch till 8pm. then i got home at last. that was totally retarded.

and sheryl was looking at my skirt and uniform and wondered what was wrong with me. i know her mom thinks i'm quite obdeient and everything and regards me quite well. like you know when parents approve of certain friends and stuff. but sheryl was quite shocked to see me in my uniform.
i mean, let's face it. those 3 months in NJ have changed me quite a bit. i'm still as lazy. but i like breaking the rules now. breaking them just for a thrill, just for fun. call it cheap thrills if you may, but there's something about feeling free coz you bought it at a price. whatever it may be. and then there's was the dance party, dancing because you want to and 'quit thinking about what others think!'
so sheryl was looking at my skirt. i shortened it by one hem and just happened to roll it up by one round today. so it looked a little on the short side and she was rather shocked coz sheryl wears hers at knee-length. then she saw my shirt which wasn't tucked in but rather secured by drawstring and safety pin and had a double-take since she tucks hers in. and she was commenting that i looked pai. oh well. then she mentioned that my hair was really messy when i left the house in the morning one day.

what can i say?
or wait a minute..do i honestly want to say anything? i'm quite happ with what i am now. i can't stand some old flaws of mine from the past. if anything i'm sad that i couldn't stay on long enough to become 'better'? or 'bolder'?
better bolder. i want to shape a charcter of mine. and since i'll never be remembered for being softspoken, genteel and guai. i may as well be known for being outspoken, frank, spunky or something. maybe even to the extent of brash.

if i can't be sunny and funky yellow and orange patterned wallpaper, then i'll be a dark coffee stain, or a crimson crayon streak. it's still better than being some grain-coloured wallpaper suited for all rooms yeah?

sec3s: my apologies guys. i really couldn't come down. was tied up at make up lessons till 3pm. you can take comfort in the fact that i wasn't enjoying myself either. but i trust you guys did okay? remember i'm rooting for you guys ALL THE WAY!

phew. i am relieved. i actually found my 3rd set of bio cytology notes. it's scary. first i lost my bio TYS. then the notes couldn't be found. i was beginning to think that someone was taking my stuff. you know, in sec 1, i used to do 2 sets of homework. coz someoen was stealing my homework for some sadistic reason. remember mrs seet scolding me for not handing in my homework on time and only passing it up after school coz i had to stay behind to do another set. then i broke down after school coz i was doing 2 sets of homework everyday. one for the 'it' to get it, and another to hand in. then i began locking up my homework in the locker in the morning so she couldn't get at it.
there was even once when she ripped out the pages of my chinese comprehension in the workbook right during chinese lesson and i found my book on the desk with the pages missing. so i started getting all paranoid again and tried recalling the whereabouts of my notes. so relieved to have found them. just wish my bio TYS will resurface. else, i'll have to buy another copy and i still owe cheryl(HC) money for the previous one.

i need to save money. i shall not comment on how much i'm receiving. but it should definitely be enough. even though the cost of studying(and living) in HC is most certainly higher than in NJ(another reason for staying :P), it should most certainly get me through. but i'm ever so tempted to ask for another allowance increase. it's month's end and i'm really cash-strapped. i'm spending last term's money. surprisingly, i have leftovers from the good ole NJ days. i'm very broke. HC food warrants that you eat out at least 3 times a week for lunch. and saturdays with lisa are gourmet discovery days where we walk out in the middle of some crappy lecture and grab a bite at 'lisa's haven'(well it's pink and orange with pink and red heart-shaped chairs you see) or better known as Choupinette. and we've already scheduled that we'll try a new dessert of theirs every week. starting with some really chocolatey thing then it's creme brulee etc. and man the stuff is ex! the pastries are all nice and soft and wow! and ex! but that's not the point. the point is, i'm eating at venezia's, meeting potion and shannon every week.
then i'm crashing once a week at NJ. and i meet cheryl and daph once a week and we go out to eat and what? shop. not that i buy anything. broke is me. and then meeting st nix people, primary school people, 04S28 people.
the thing is. just this morning i heard this story on the radio about this 16-year-old girl from a low-income family and gets 30 bucks a month. and somehow still manages to save some coins a month. then, she attended this course and now she can save 10 out of 30 bucks in a month. i just can't understand how she does it though i seriously think i should learn too.

chilled at venezia's after schol with potion and lisa. shannon couldn't make it in time after all. ate 3 portions of ice-cream. the tartufou and gianduia flavours are fab. gianduia is chocolate and hazelnut and tartufou tastes like ferrero rocher choclate but a milky and more creamy form. both a a little similar but still tastes great.
and as usual. me and lisa stoned throughout the make up lecture for 2 hours. i always do attend make ups with her since she is the only one from her class and we were after all o104s28. what did we do? read 8 days at the back of the comp lab together for an hour and discussed our old class and old memories for the next hour. how very productive eh? and what do enzymes do? dunno. maybe digested my brain cells to the point of no return. like irreversiable plasmolysis or something.

my dad's back from shanghai. he was very much amused by my graphic imitation of lion dance complete with sound effects and emulation of playing the cymbals and beating the drum. debs and g;adys in my class are wow musicians. debs played Canon in D on the violin during bio tutorial break and gladys performed this really familiar tune on the sheng. honestly, if you ask me, i'll rather be able to play an instrument any time over being a fantastic scientist. at least if i can play an instrument, i can look good and i can dream or lose myself in the music. but if i become einstein or say, john nash, i'll look quite unpretty right? i know this sounds horrifically superficial but i'll still pick nicole kidman over edison anyday.
that was me getting off the topic again. my mom is going to shanghai for a while again. so i get to take bus. again. oh whoopee. don't i just sound elated. not very happy about it. there's SARS in china now and i don't liek the thought of both of them being surrounded by some mad-hatter virus there.

oh. and HC is having this joint science summer school programme with trinity college in melbourne. it's in the december hols. and cost approximately 4000 bucks for a 2-week science programme. it's super ex. i know jason did his foundation studies there i think. it sounds way cool and i'm thinking of signing on. maybe i should. then i can go for the interview and see which will take me, taiwan immersion or trinity. i really hope to make taiwan immersion. i mena, it only includes a 7-8 day tour of taiwan. way cool.

and then, there's the Cantabile XVIII, the NJ choir concert on friday. will meet up with cheryl and daph. then i'll meet lily like i promised on saturday for the VJ funfair. and mich will accompany me to LOTR exhibition afterward. yay. can't believe i'm really going. and then i'll prolly have the PW discussion after. i really wish we wouldn't have it. but what can i say? the first proposal for the project is due next week. the week with all the tests, chem SPA, bio lecture test..we have to get started somewhere.

crap. i shoudl shut up now. nites everyone.

i had yoga today. it's actually quite fun. the positions are really inhuman. and rather painful. but it's surprisingly fun.

there's this table tennis finals Nj playing HC tomorrow. my class is scheduled to watch the match. but sadly i have make up lessons. so if we get the approval from the bio teacher that we can watch the match, i'll be going to toa payoh. but there's a minor glitch. i don't really know who to cheer for. just watch.

it's been one interesting helluva day.
i've runned(is there such a word?), and gotten a tummyache in the process. i've taken a test and decided that i'm gonna fare better i think that i had predicted. no thanks to me. more like the teacher was kind with the question.
i've discussed LOTR intensely with damien. i've played pathetic squash with cheryl, lily and potion. i've eaten a lot. and finally fixed up with H&F. i've also patched a little.

i also learned something today. and i'm pretty much resigned to it.
but no point being down about it. tomorrow's a brand new day with no worries in it. and hopefully God will help me paint it a shade of light blue-pink after some days of white-gray and peach.

i'll have yoga tomorrow. and tuition.
oh *groan* tuition! so much for pink and blue? white's enough. so long as it ain't black.

some things are just miraculously befuddling.

i'm always looking forward to church stuff. but when it's the moment before, the day itself, i'm always inclined to chicken out. then i attend and guess what? i love it. i always do. it's the only sure thing i will definitely enjoy. somehow. even church camps are not half as bad as normal ones.

the bbq was great. it wasn't breathtaking, smashhitting, wowfully fantastic. just great. it was so carefree and relaxed and the best part, unassuming. of course there were points when you do run out of things to say coz you mayn't know the person well. but everyone can talk to anyone. just talking and laughing and catching up.
i miss ole andrea, laura, daisy, stephanie and daryl. and the new old people i met. i can tell my class anything. the catechists were there and some people got dunked in the pool. it's a church thing.
so they know i wanna join choir. and they're holding me to it. 2 months from yesterday. by 24th june i have to be in it. or i owe steph, daryl, sheryl and moses a giant earthquake at swensons. haha.

met with jas, aunt pat and aunt laicheng today. sat in cafe cartel and got some updates and funny stories. the funny stories are really funny. okay, that's way dumb. but really, there's always interesting anecdotes and snippets of life and little comparisions which are bound to get you curled up laughing.

played tennis with terence. considering that we've each got quite a bit of background for it, we both suck. we haven't touched the racket for two years and we can barely hit the ball. i'm all no-fanciful-moves-for-me, just hit straight and get it over. and there he is, sending the balls flying everywhere, trying to slice them and failing miserably. what combination do we get? a maximum volley of 11 strokes and lots of ball-picking time. we're gonna do it again and perhaps someday i'll actually get down to swimming. we're dangerous. sent 2 balls flying off the court on the 5 storey. could have crashed into some unfortunate soul's car windscreen and smashed it. we are safety hazards.

got hoem and got some studying done. i have finally touched my elasticities of supply. though i don't quite get it, at least i've read it. now if i can just get 5 more sets of lecture notes read through and prepare 3 essay outlines by tomorrow, i might actually pass tomorrow's test!
but as we all know, dear me practically never sits for a test fully prepared. 99% of teh time, i don't even finish READING the material. so if i can just read about 2 more sets i'll be more than happy. i'll be delirous.

and no way am i sacrificing my tv now for it. it's tv or nothing.

Xiaoyan
20
business
U of M-Ann Arbor


SPRING break!!
fishball noodle soup
yellow gold heart locket
3.7 GPA
DSLR
cashmere winter coat


cher clara chuan debs terence prong san xuewei toufu 04s71 damian yisheng