Saturday, March 27, 2004
mich: it shouldn't be so history. it should be so yesterday(hilary duff). *wink
i think i may actually settle in. indeed the new class is rather quiet but they are nice people. though having some evil traits like daph and cheryl is really welcomed.(does this word even exist?) darn. it's really late but i intend to continue.
met up with shannon, daph, cheryl, alina and this new girl called janice yesterday. took neos with daph cheryl and alina. gawd. i hadn't laughed this much in the past week. no. more. since i last saw them. we are a happy bunch. nutty bunch. i love the neos! to think we never took any together until we split. sheesh.
and then we chatted and talked. and i said something which i won't say here coz i realise a lot more people are coming to the blog without my knowing. really scary.
and now. i'm still searching and wondering if i'm really feeling that something. better not jump headfirst into things. dunno when it started. trying to come to terms with it and find out how it all begun. and on monday. perhaps i'll know. i can't believe myself. but now i know that it peeks somewhere when you don't know. right. everyone's clueless? i'm gonna give it time.
my baby cousin is going back to china. or should i stay going there. tomorrow in fact. gonna mis his cute fat legs. and fat tum-tum and chubby cheeks. and dimpled arms. and tootless grin. and twinkling eyes and...i think you get the point right?
and zhao going to NS this tues. whoah. that's fast. one moment we were small cousins. now we're big cousins. no more tuition anyway. unless he's willing and able enough to tutor on weekends.
terence from church is moving house. he was my facil partner for the CC2 june camp last year. so anyway. he's gonna move to seasons park like in a month's time or something. that's pretty cool. and we're planning to play tennis and go cycling together or something. he was bugging me to run. but no. anything BUT running.
right. i should shut up. i've been nline for 2 over hours. don't know how i used to do it, chatting for 5 hours in P6 and sec 1. my shoulders, lower back, legs. everything is aching. not to mention i'm beginning to see stars. and the study room lighting is pretty bad. we changed it to fluorescent from the dim romantic sort. but it ain't powerful enough so it's still pretty bad. bah. whatever crap am i saying?
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
a bunch of random stuff.
can't say i'm settling in, though i'm trying hard to. i've met my new class. they are quite guai bunch of people. a world of difference from the havoc and 'feng' 04S28. i daren't really be myself, coz i'm like some chili padi or something, not everyone can take it, and even so, only in minute dosages. the lessons were bleah. tomorrow's my longest day. all i can say is, the one thing similar to NJ is that thursdays are still the suckiest days. am in 04S71 now.
my aunt gave me a musical box. those little wooden ones. got it 2 days ago when i wrote that amazingly long entry. it isn't very pretty, but it has a ballerina dancing in it to the tune of 'somewhere over the rainbow'. and it feels especially sweet now coz i keep looking around elsewhere. anyway, these muscial boxes are just so romantic. and lovey-dovey.
i went to suntec today and collected my new spectacles. they're dark purple and quite nice. ran into genevieve(sec 2 squad '03) at carrefour. took a hell of a long time getting home coz the bus never came.
i'm debating between the ccas and i was thinking of giving choir a shot. but i heard that they've already chosen people so there's no way right? then i heard that elddfs is biased towards the arts people. but anyhow, i'm thinking of guitar, judo or taekwondo. some kind of sport. i don't care if i can't represent the school or something. i just wanna kick some ass. no lah. more like i just need some exercise.
Monday, March 22, 2004
mich: i love your blog design. it's so pretty. and the font for the word love looks very typewriterish. though, do be easy on my eyes, the font is quite hard to read coz of the colour. trust me, i so know how you're feeling now. cheer up! we go out soon.
cher: and so it is huh? but nevermind, we'll still be as close and crap just as much.
it's official. hwa chong it is. but in a way, i wanna cry.
04S28 will be dissolved. 04S28 will be no longer.
i'm regretting now. so much. most of all, i'm sad that we didn't bother treasuring all those fab times. i'm sad that i thought i didn't like it. and i'm sad that we were all so nonchalant, just as if we didn't care. but now, with everyone everywhere, we're all beginning to realise that we all mattered. everyone of us. and we don't even have a picture. not one of 04S28 slackers.
i'm behind in everything. hc is ahead on math by 3 chapters and ahead in econs by one. i haven't even thought about chem and bio yet. but for those, i'm behind in NJ. what can i say man? my class was the last for math in NJ and i was the last in class. doesn't that make me the last in the level? even my bio tutor sounds consoling at this point.
i can't help but recall at every point of the day, what my class would be doing or
would have been doing. like at the parade square, or digging others or eating our heads off.
out of 24, 13 have gone. shannon, xiangzheng, amelia, xuezhen, me, lisa, vivien, ruisi, marilyn, cherie and more. and 4 are changing combination: leelee, angela, buffy and sinwee.
and then i miss
you. miss running into
you in the hallways. i never kept my resolution of telling
you you know. and i guess i won't ever be doing that now. i never thought i'd leave NJ if i could stay. but i have just gone and done the opposite. and i know that i ain't ever gonna see
you again. we can only be friends if we ever be anything, but i'm just a little wistful. i have
your add,
your number, i know so many thing about
you, but i was just wallpaper. funny ain't it? and now, i'll never run into
you in the hallways, never see that brief little smile or measured nod. can't fake a conversation. but then again, i won't get pissed when BK flirts with
you or when BK frowns or scowls when she sees me. coz well, i won't be seeing
you again.
i thought of appealing back. but i daren't even tell my parents about it. i know they'll just get angry. my dad is now, coz i'm online. but what's the point of coming back when the people aren't even there?
even leelee's digs feel warm and close to home. and daph and cheryl's obsessive shopping.
it's scary even. i just got uprooted. it's like the world pretty much disappeared behind me. it isn't just across the road you know. it's so far away....
right. on a lighter note. i had a lot of fun in shanghai and the little while in HK. shopped a lot. that's an understatement. bought 1 halter, one top, 1 printed pants, 1 white pants, 1 black jeans, 1 blue jeans, 1 red pants, 1 cream shirtdress thing, 1 tote, 1 mini-tote, 1 sling, 1 white v-neck stretch-top, 1 blue top, 1 sleeveless top, 2 vcd sets and 1 cd. and i think something else which i can't really remember. the luggage broke actually coz the bag was way too heavy.
this trip was really different, coz we were all on our own, experiencing things in another way. someday, i'll go back again.
but for now, i have a number pf places which i want to go to.
in no order of preference:
1. shangri-la, dali (in yunan china)
2. Seoul, Gwang-ju (basically a lot of places in s. Korea even the film sets)
3. tokyo, kyoto (japan is a must)
4. taiwan (just because)
5. melbourne, sydney (just because)
6. UK (all those places i've been before.)
so anyway. i've closed another chapter in this minuscule life of mine. or should i say, it wasn't even a chapter. pretty much too short to speak of. it was the end of a story, the epilogue to uncertainty. or even, the prologue to something new.
yet it was quite so colourful, somewhat event-less, but with numerous little dosages of spice.
adios 04S28. it was a rollarcoaster ride, great while it lasted though much too short. and as all things come to pass.
and so it goes right?
"the music stops, but echoes on in sweet refrain.
for every joy that passes, something beautiful remains"
it was worth it, well worth it.
