i deserve a slap. and honestly, i could have cried right there in school. i shall start by saying i went to orchard with cher. bought these really adorable milk bottle earrings from bits and pieces and the 'remember' cd at HMV. mich, don't look at me like that. and also enjoyed a literature experience in kinokuniya.

aside from that. today has been really dumb.

yes. i am going to say it to your face. i am practically stalking arty.
and i am not kidding. i used to not care whther i saw him or not. then i begin to look forward to meeting him. then i would look out for him in the mornings at the parade square. and now?
now i decide to create chances myself. i purposely choose to stand at the back in assembly. i walk to to class by passing the 2nd level even though i'm on the 3rd. i deliberately have lunch during break when he's in the canteen and skip lunch break to go to the library coz he's with his class. but honestly. it's sad. coz i barely talk to him.
all i'm doing just scares me. how can this be happening?

just today, i sat in the canteen after school waiting for cher coz i knew he'd come by or i hoped he would anyhow. and he was there. with qian jing. and leelee(it's a guy) me and another cheryl were discussing who likes who in the class. and he was pressing me. so when i saw qian jing he started screaming that i liked qian jing. which no i don't. he kept repeating it and arty was a metre plus away. oh gawd. and arty looked. and leelee carried on shouting that i liked qian jing. i felt sick to the stomach coz i wasn't feeling well. so i took the water bottle i was holding and poured the water on leelee. qian jing, shannon(a guy) and i think arty too just stared at me. i was mortified. i kept apologising to leelee but he was pissed. it's okay now. but i am still mortfied.

i did talk to arty subsequently. but during classes he's always with macdonalds. and after school he's with burger king(they are people) and burger king seems really close to him.both of them seem really close. and i'm about to die and cry or something.
and he thinks i'm nuts. with that flustered-queen-fiasco i just pulled. he commented later that i would do very well acting. oh dammit dammit dammit.

nevermind i shall watch survivor.

just call me loser.

of all the stupid things i can do...i really think i deserve crowning glories for this. was walking back today almost at the gate when i realise i didn't have the econs TYS with me. had to walk back all the way. i left it on some table somewhere. stupid me.

anyway. i went for enterprise meeting yesterday and some lady big owner of a lot of stuff gave a talk on opening a restaurant etc etc. and the minute she started, we kinda decided that the cafe wasn't gonna start anytime soon. we need to fix drainage, licensing, major renovation to knock down walls and do glass panelling, get ENV to check stuff. hire people....it's a lot.. and needs loads of capital.

went for like 20 minutes of guitar before they dismissed. i was overjoyed when i realised arty was carrying a guitar. i was like thinking that hey! he's in guitar too! but then someone threw a wet blanket and told me that it's coz he's trying out for talentime. cher consoled me by saying that i would be able to catch him perfoming..that's better.

tried out for cldds auditions. but i don't think i got in. i'm heading for eldds. but since they aren't starting anything, no harm trying out and just getting a role right? some hilarious episode. they interviewed me and asked me what are my te4 chang2, i thought it meant hobbies so i replied saying watching tv. and they whole board of people nearly laughed out of their seats. uber embarrassing.

and most of all. i can't believe myself. i sat in the canteen looking at the stairway waiting for arty to appear. which obviously did not(i cannot believe i did that). then i tried the bookshop and didn't see him either. so we decided to try the library and true enough, saw him with some others doing work. so i said hi and stubbled on the kerb and nearly fell right on to the table(thankfully i regained control in time). then i started pacing around and i think he thought i was weird or something. i'm guessing that he thinks i'm stalking him, which is technically true. and now i'm friggin' worried that he thinks i'm nuts. honestly, i think i am too. if you count walking down one extra floor just to pass his homeroom.
oh gosh, what am i even talking about? how can this even be happening? i am seriously weirded out.

yawn. i am tired monstrously tired.
i actually did some homework today. did 3 questions of bio from the A'level TYS. urgh. it's so deceptive. 3 questions. with multiple parts and points multiplied by points to give lots of stuff to write.
but i'm done. and i'm mighty pleased with myself. just means i can daze during boring lessons and not bother about having to scribble frantically in time for the next.

i was walking back today and i saw how many rounds shihan's class ran for PE. actually. it was just one pathetic round. except that it's one round around the NJ and nanyang premises. adding to some 3km. or more. crazy arses. i don't want to think what will happen on thur when i run. just as long as titus doesn't scream 'per-se-vere' into my ears, matching them to my steps, i would feel loads better.

tomorrow's gonna be an academically slack day. the lessons are mostly crap. like math tutorial and bio prac and chinese class. but it's cca day. i ahev my first proper guitar lesson and an enterprise talk given by some owner of a bunch of cafes or something. totally needing an energy booster here.

i notice how people notice you when you don't want attention and how people neglect you when you are trying to get their attention. totally whacko. a bunch of girls know who arty-farty is. especially since daphne and cheryl(different person here) have been screaming arty-farty the whole day.
shush here. but i'm kinda proud of myself. arty-farty is in choir(i can't join it obviously), sings bass(manly, but i guess manly guys don't do choir) and...

okay. i am insane now. get me off! get me off! bed-time!

blah. today is a public holiday.
okay, now that was so unrequired. everyone knows that right?
no. wrong. the school doesn't. coz if they did, they wouldn't think of giving that much homework.
coz now i'm stuck figuring whether the bio tutorail questions are due tomorrow.
not that it even matter, coz it doesn't.
why doesn't it? coz without doing the bio tutorial questions, i already have bio lecture questions to do and it's getting quite obvious that i won't be able to finish them.
if i finish them.

it started out okay enough. i knew i had loads to do. i finished my chem tutorial in like 20 minutes. now that was exhilarrting. nothing like good ole chem to relieve me and make me feel that i have good brain cells in working order.
and then a nice surprise. i actually did do my partial functions tutorial so i had one less piece of homework.
now this high was shortlived and i soon realised that i have no idea how binomial works. and binomial is one sickening fella'. so obviously intent on causing me a mental breakdown. and so disagreeable too.

now that i have gotten thus far, i'm sure everyone's pretty clear that i did not go for Amazing Race and did not see kym ng. my mom did suggest going out with clara and mimi to cycle. but the weather's been sorta unpredictable.

the up side? i got down to reading. anyone who's been scrutinising the reading section would know that one title has officially disappeared from the book list. HOORAY! i actually stomached a book.
now, now, don't get all excited. no. correction, if i were you, i'd get excited. cher, you really shoudl read the book. it's quite nice actually. not like LOTR/Gone with the Wind/Queen of Camelot-breathtaking fantasic. just nice-read-by-the-fire nice. to top it off, it's a pretty pink book, though kind of large to be carrying around.
better still. has anyone realised the difference in my writing style here? it always gets affected by me reading a novel/blog entry/serious documentary prior to me blogging. if i've worked up excitement before blogging, you are just lucky. clearly, the author is not singaporean, very good effect on my English. i should read more.
by the way, women do not fart, they do windy pops. so says the book. that is a laugh. i mean, how would it sound? hi, i just windy-popped. i think everyone would have smelt the fragrance before they clued in on the meaning.

down side: i still have the bio questions to do and what's more, it needs reference to some big old campbell text which i so do not have.

there's going to be two enterprise meetings this week. sigh...there goes my free time. i wonder if cher is interested in joining?

you know, i really hate to say this, but i'm kinda wishing that gaius and buffy will just leave NJ or something. or the class at least. they really make a perfect pair so buff you should stop saying not. they are just obsessed with homework. obsessed with campbell's ancient text and obsessed with what more work can be coming their way. and if they are at it, maybe they can take titus/ruisi along with them. i'm itching to name a few more no. maybe i should go. but i don't want to.
God, you hear that right? now i just need to repeat myself till feb 27th.

now, i really should be going. i really really should. just think, if i don't. davidson is going to burst an artery tomorrow. my class so thinks that. he's quite a worrywart. sorta. he really wants us to be hardworking and that we'll do well. but honest, there's more to life than bio and water molecules and whatnot. he's always cracking lame jokes. really really lame ones. so lame that it can't even coax a laugh. and he gets all worked up when we don't do our work properly. and he reminds me of the chem teach who corrects our grammatical errors. honestly, if the whole class didn't do our bio, i think he'll have a fit. he actually wants us to write letters to him explaining why we didn't do our work if we don't hand them in.

okay. i have just launched yet another nonsensical paragraph. i am getting off now. i mean it. maybe i shall nap or something. no i won't. i will go eat Haagen Daaz. yes. i will do just that. then i will nap.
whatever became of bio? seriously i don't know. Her Highness wants her beauty sleep. reading, after all, is quite quite exhausting.

san: you have to make a choice. though i guess you'll be choosing ray. so...

sec3s: thanks for the unit day. though the food gave me a sore throat. i'll try coming back for your 2nd class drills. but no promises kae?

first i'll have to say that i started reading again. my reading section has been stagnating. i haven't touched a proper book in goodnees-knows-how-long. and the wosrt part is, i haven't felt a craving to read. if i did, at least i wouldn't feel so bad. but i didn't, so i was beginning to think that i was losing my passion for reading and that sucks. began with a light/juicy read and feeling loads better now. still haven't worked up a craving but i'm going to read consistently. very crucial for my sanity.

Friday: crashed hc. now, i would think that using teh term 'crash' would give exhilaration of some sort. well, it didn't. well don't get me wrong. it's not supposed to get me on high, just some kick. hc is a resort. at least, it looks like one. the beige colour with wood-frame windows and deep maroon-coloured doors. but the part i like most? the nicely-tiled toilets. and yes, the stone/ceramic tiles everywhere in the school. so much better than cement.
but that's not the point anyway. saw jy. she looked kinda down. 4unitians and i went to coro for dinner. the place makes really good iced milo. tasts more like milo milkshake. really frothy and thick. alicia told us a bunch of ghost stories and got me really freaked. ended up with me at home, locking the bedroom door and leaving the bathroom door open blasting christian pop while i showered. i was desperate. no one wanted to sit inside my room. and wait.

Sat: started out with flag day. i have not felt more unaccomplished.
i had a wonderful chance to talk to "kym ng" and i passed on it to talk to min. i am a stupid arse.
i handed in like 4 bucks after 5 hours. like honestly, who comes to orchard at 7.30 in the morning. with already so few people, most of them just plain avoided me. or would give a stupid smile and walk away. it is sincerely not worth it. what's more, this lady came up to me and lectured me that is should learn from this experience. telling me that the money collected is not the thing. so i just told her that we need to hand in the tin. and she said then they are the ones in the wrong. whatever. coz red cross was saying that they will not give the hours if the tin isn't heavy enough.

went shopping with mich. and met min for a short while. i finally bought a new wallet from myuk accessories. it's not fantastic or whatever. but it's handy and smart and feasible. and the cut is cool. so it's fine. bought a pair of earrings and vic zhou's new album. sometimes i wonder why i bother, when his singing is quite bad. but nevermind. nearly puke out my whole lunch. crepes'n creme's cabonara tastes quite bad. couple with my awful stomach, it really didn't feel great. hung out in hmv for a while, mich and i listening to the tracks and both of us have decided to buy 'remember' this english love songs cd. it is really good. and i mean it. all teh tracks in the first disc is totally worth listening to.

went for unit day. my squadmates are unbelievable. like 4 people including myself turned up. got a sore throat after eating the dinner. but i finally handed some letters to them. and returned weiz's autograph book. talked to taky for a while. and they had this yusheng thing. i must admit it doesn't taste that bad. nd would most definitely taste better if my stomach stopped doing somersaults the whole time.

ended around nine plus. i had to get to clara's house in tanah merah. mich and i took the train. thanks mich. and i got there in time for my mom to fetch me home. it's way lame. i thought they were staying till 12 or 1 like they always do but my dad had to fly today so they cut it short. i wish i could have made it in time, coz qingwen, qingxiang were there and i haven;t seen them in years, could have caught up with them. i just know clara and jeremy are ging to kill me but nevermind. i'm also thankful, coz i desperately needed sleep. mich and i were just stoning on the train.

Sun: i got to bed at 1am and woke up at 6.15 to rush for mass. very bad idea. i think i ahev to do penance for a really long time. so embarrassing. i think the lady behind us must have been wodering what the hell my sis and i were doing. both of us were sleeping through the mass. i remember seeing my sis singing the responsarial psalm with her eyes closed and michelle(sec 4 np) was yawning away over at the other end. i just basically slept through and really disliked the parts where we had to stand. grabbed a quick bite for breakfast and headed home. my mom fetched my dad to the airport.
and so here i am. an hour and a half after lunch. i took a 5-hour nap and ate lunch and now blogging. i'm feeling the fatigue and am very inclined to nap again. i have a lot of homework due on tues. a. lot. like all the bio lecture 1 questions and a few lecture 2 questions. the econs essay outline and i forgot what else. i guess i'll do them somehow. but i have the feeling it's not oing to be today.

the OGLs have organised Amazing Race for my class and min's class. that's 04S28 and 04S08. it's tomorrow. but it's taking up a long time. i know i'll get to see kym ng, but i don't supppose i'll be going. it's awful tiring. and my class. i'm supposing titus is going. scartch that. he is going. and the triathlete is going to be running his ass off to impress ruisi or soemthing. so i'm going to have to run too. totally bad idea. i am not going.

later it's going to be tv time. forgot what show is on, except that i'm going to catch it. it's been a dry and long entry. and now it's time to call clara and apologise for not turning up.

Xiaoyan
20
business
U of M-Ann Arbor


SPRING break!!
fishball noodle soup
yellow gold heart locket
3.7 GPA
DSLR
cashmere winter coat


cher clara chuan debs terence prong san xuewei toufu 04s71 damian yisheng