Friday, September 19, 2003
didn't come online yesterday. felt that i should study. but i watched tv instead. practised some math and then went to bed with zero hope for the A math paper.
today's english was a killer. about some exploitation of labour in myanmar in hpakant. some jadeite mine thingy. i love these interesting pages. i'm sure that if social studies had these sort of topics, i'd be able to remember better. but when doing english, with only 10minutes to read and dissect the passage, it isn't enough. i really don't think i can bag that A1 for english. not by a long shot. but still. i'm not going to give up hoping.
surprisingly, i could do most of the questions in the math paper. but my gut feelings are never reliable. i may just fail it. but for now at least, i have some hope.
yesterday's physics was plain horrid. beyond description. there was thunder and at every interval, people will decided to scream. concentration was near-zero. let's hope they'll moderate the marks.
saw natasha this morning. she wants to go to ACJC and she working hard for it. she said she even bought their school badge and pinned it on to her pencil case. and she even wrote ACJC on to her hand, just to remind her where she wants to go. i decided to follow her and do just that. so i wrote 'ACJC/NJC' on my hand. let's not forget that.
mich: i really want to clear the air. i guess i have my reasons for saying such things. and i can't sign your gbook. perhaps we could call each other or something. it's a misunderstanding. but for what i said, let's just say, you learn things after falling down many times.
it's the weekend now. rest a little. start bio. i haven't. and i have to start and end it by sunday.
Wednesday, September 17, 2003
warning: writer's in a messed up mood. long entry forseen.
nothing i'm gonna say actually links, but i've got loads.
the status column there has seen a big change. nothing written under what book i'm currently reading. i've finished LOTR, probably at the worst time. but let's face it. i couldn't have studied if i didn't finish it. i mean, i sure if i was really pressed for time and my mom breathed down my neck, i wouldn't. but on my own, i'm going to need more mettle. just like last year, i pressed myself to finish Gone with the Wind and its movie before the finals. LOTR's a great book. with beautiful descriptions of lands so fair. it's a mammoth of a book, no doubt and quite formidable. so long that when the characters in the book look back on days gone by, it does feel like aeons ago. the ending is somewhat too bright and sad for the boom though. like all the humans settling down and getting married etc, a little too good to be true. and the elves all fading away into the past, too sad to be borne.
i guess that elves and men just don't coexist. just like so many other things of sorts. i like dear samwise gamgee. frodo's got a sad story to carry. faramir is great too. surprisingly, as you read on, focus is shifted away from aragorn and legolas is barely mentioned. anyhow, i'm waiting for the movie to come out.
back to a main focus. studying. i done told and told myself today, that i had to study. to no avail, coz i spent several hours instead on LOTR. i must work on physics later. no more procrastinating. no reason too anymore.
sms-ed my cousin about the change in cell number yesterday. then we were sms-ing. he's out of camp for a day. i guess he ranks as my favourite cousin on my mom's side and he and another cousin are my closest cousins i guess. he was like,'remember our movie date after the O's ah!' i had forgotten. haha. promised to catch a movie. my other close cousin's the one who's getting me Hilary's Memoirs. nice having a laugh with him. all things which i should be looking forward to post-O's.
next thing. mich's friend. i shan't dwell too long on this. except that it really pissed me off. bad enough that mich is upset over it. but you know what? i'm me. taste the sweet, swallow the gall. i'm not gonna sit and dissect and analyze people and predict their behaviour. don't. judge. me. and mich you really shouldn't think so much of it. there's so much more to be concerned about.
God gives stregth to the weary. it's better than coffee.
Tuesday, September 16, 2003
another day gone. a bunch of papers done. a little glimmer of hope. or not.
i wrote about 'de yu shi' or 'gain and loss' for the chinese compo. used the quotes from 'turn left turn right' to add some life to my essay. but other than the pretty okay beginning, the whole essay was a flop. and it sounded horribly primary school. just great. lili said that our chinese teacher had told her that most of our class can get A1 for HCL including geok and i, just that we've got to put in our effort. i hope i can get A1. then i'll be considered effectively bilingual. nah. that's bullshit. well, at least i can think that i am anyway.
social studies was just okay. i still wish i had more time. couldn't finish the paper. weep. but i'm relieved that it's over at least. thankfully i don't have to think about it for now.
i explained this self-made analogy to cher just now. there's this great mist and fog and swirling mass of cloud before me. and beyond that there's this hill. but before i reach the hill, which is my ultimate destination on this progressive journey, i have to go down into the valley below the mist first. but all this while i'm envisioning myself growing crops and rearing geese on the hill. so the hill is after O's, the horrid valey is O's and prelims. the mist is what i'm walking into but can't see and the dreams are on that hill.
urgh! it's all horrid. living hell on earth. but it gets better with time.
mich's friend just decided to chat with me today. i don't know where to classify this. so it's just going to sit for a while. many things, little time. remember my priorities still.
Monday, September 15, 2003
yippee! prelims are here! smell the fake enthusiasm in my voice?
added a few countdown sections. let's keep the hight spirit!
1. describe a busy scene in town on a friday night.
i picked that. except that i wrote half the essay and realised, where's the busy scene? this is english for goodness sake. i don't even want to think of chinese tomorrow.
2. A maths.
it was okay at first, more or less anyhow, until question 8. everything after that was horrible. and i will never forgive myself for not doing the stupid last question which was like chicken feed and decided to waste time getting stuck on some graph thing instead.
now i'm sitting at home. i've been back since 1.30pm. what have i done? nothing. unless you count reading LOTR as an accomplishment. it's 7pm now. just feeling like kicking my ass.
must try to revise my ss. need to get the friggin' points back into my system. as for chinese. God, please help me.
