Saturday, August 30, 2003
aahhhh! have to make a real snappy entry. i have 6 minutes to my tv show. went out today and got back about 30 minutes ago. went to study with mich. but practically didn't study anything. i did some social studies. but other than feeling a little disappointed, i ain't feeling anything else. coz in a way, i sorta expected that i wouldn't study. like after being cooped up and facing books for like 3 weeks nonstop, why would i continue to face books when i am out?
so i went out. were just walking aimleely about(didn't really want to go to the library, see) then i was supposed to just go and study by myself for a moment while mich went to catch a movie. but i was totally convinced that i hadda go. so we both went and waited for her friend to show up. but he forgot and we waited for 30 minutes. then we decided not to wait any longer so we went and caught a movie(at my insistence). watched freaky friday! it's real hilarious and nice. starring lindsay lohan(the person who acted in paret trap) but she's all grown up now. and pretty too. there were some great songs in the show. mich said that lindsay lohan had to go learn how to play the electric guitar just to film the show and she sang some lovely songs.
then i went on and bought Lord of the Rings-fellowship of the ring and the two towers original vcds. also bought michelle branch's new album- hotel paper. shall listen to it later. went to library after that and studied like 1 over hours(quite pathetic huh?) i sms-ed my friend. he's going into army next week. and i was real tempted to meet up with him. haven't seen him in 4 years and all that. but i didn't. chickened out in the end. maybe i'll try on monday.
shoot. i'm past the time limit by 3 minutes! kae. just wanna say that i totally want to buy clay aiken's album and freaky friday's soundtrack cd. the songs rock! especially 'happy together'. oh and. most prob i'm gonna study again on monday(sort of anyway). and i shall buy eileen's gift and a new wallet from myuk accessories. and maybe get engraved rings with mich. okay. i must shut up now. cya!
Friday, August 29, 2003
today, was tchers' day. the awards ceremony was really funny. and the JP item was real fascinating.
didn't go back to my primary school. i may, when prelims are over or something. but now? no. in that way, i miss just the teachers. but the older teachers who taught me are either gone or retiring. and even the school premises have shifted. last year when i returned, it wasn't the same any longer. this new place holds no memories for me. no staircase landing where our gang used to gather and eat. no big drain where we used to be so exhilarated after jumping over. no pavestones where i used to play hopscotch. no part of me spent there.
just came home and slacked. pretty cool that we managed to convince mrs tan lee lee that we didn't want the bio mock. bad though, coz then i won't study. but still. watched lord of the rings-the two towers. i must admit when i watched it in the cinema the first time it was way cooler. but ain't too bad, except that i could predict everything. so no suspense. still have half of the book to go, which i'll read a little tonight, if my eyes aren't too swollen to see.
gonna shower soon. then i'll watch Autumn in my Heart and eat dinner at the same time! must finish. so temptation will stop plaguing me.(like real!) my dad bought back mooncake! yippee! i used to hate it. all sticky and mucky and dry and gross. but now..no way. all gooey and lovely. must go eat later! love the lotus seed paste!
going out with mich tomorrow. must make it worth it. last bout of enjoyment before prelims. (i think!) and must study at the library too! i'm half-inclined to drag someone with me while mich watches a movie. but no. i will study! hear that? i'm going to study. now stupid textbook! you will finally have a companion.
Wednesday, August 27, 2003
i am so dead.
i don't even know how to begin explaining my predicament.
1) i've failed my 4th maths test in a row. mind you, i don't mean i only failed 4 this year. there must be 7 at least. or more.
2) i'm starting to speak funnily. kind of getting stumped in my speech. and i'm an English sort of person.
3) i have 2 weeks to pull both my failing maths grade to an A1. how's that possible?
4) i just realised that my so-called physics A1s are just crap. i don't know how to do the freaking 2002 prelim paper.
5) i didn't A1 last year's chemistry O'level.
6) no one's marking the combined humanities papers. how am i going to know how i fared? what if i failed and i never knew?
7) i got 50% for my chinese paper. fine. so i didn't study, i had ss test that day. but i've never scored anything less than B3 this whole year for chinese. what am i going to do with a C6?
8) i don't know how to finish all the tudying. there's so much. and all i can do is sit there and stare and wonder how much time will i need to do all the studying. and how will i even finish.
i'm seriously stressed now. i don't think i'm going to be going to njc anymore.
dear God, i know i'm not a good girl. and i didn't study during the year. but God, i have just 2 weeks. 2 weeks to finish(start) everything. i know You are out there. could you please give me some help. just a little 'coz God you have so much. help me to concentrate and study. study hard and study smart. and help me with my maths, God. i promise to be good and try to study better. help me to plan my time and manage it well. i know i can do it, please help me. thank You. grace.
Tuesday, August 26, 2003
whee! i'm totally whacko! i guess that's what studying does to you! in repy to chers question, my parents know i keep this online diary, but they've never asked to see it. my sis knows the page but she's never seen it. hee.
just keep studying. but gonna go out on sat with mich. will go library and then if got time shop around a little. my little bright beacon in the stormy seas!(was refering to the shopping) hee!
Monday, August 25, 2003
hmm..i received an email from my sister after i sent her this lengthy update(i'm totally capable of lengthy stuff). and she's having some problems with people there. she's a real nice person, so sweet and loving and doesn't like offending people(quite opposite of me). so i gave two bits of advice.
-i need only friends to stand by me, enemies can go stand opposite me and let me shoot 'em.
-it's nice to have many friends, but not all are needed
i love friends. they are some wondeful God-made creatures. but i don't like over-reliance, but i do rely much on others. as far as i'm concerned, i love the wonderful people i've made friends with. cher, jy, mich, lynn, squadmates, juniors, yang hao etc. but i really don't like backstabbers.
enough about that. maths test was today. anything but good. and physics mock is tomorrow. sigh. must start studying(which naturally i haven't) was doing my testimonial in school today, which i really think it sucks(my writing i mean). then was learning cantonese from eileen at the same time and she said something and i started laughing and laughing and laughing. so darned funny!
back to serious topics. moving on. yup, it was an abrupt end to cat class. i don't feel as if i want to or am prepared to move on. more like chased out is the feeling. everything's changing but i don't feel as if i am moving along with it. sad. i guess it just needs some getting used to?
Sunday, August 24, 2003
xuewei: eewl. you so disgusting! but i like the cute little hippo mail you sent me better. that poor hippo. but it's cute anyway. thanks! i'll remember to dump a rock on your nose like with the poor hippo.
today was the last day of cat class. it was better and worse than i expected. it's really the last day huh? the catechists all prayed individually over us. sheryl has this knack, each time she prays for me, i just feel like crying, coz i know she really means each and every word. sigh. they had a couple of presentations on joining youth groups, but i haven't made a decision yet. steph gave us this personalised beaded thing which she made herself. thanks!
then before we went to lunch, and outside group made this performance. they're called hosanna. and i was quite attracted to join. they do praise and worship, the only thing i like. and they wore all black. it's so cool. after that, i had lunch with my class people. gonna miss them. girls, guys, all. can't believe i'm actually saying this. i never thought i'd even speak to the guys 4 years ago. especially daryl. coz we've got similar situations and stuff, and he doesn't think that i'm going ballistic when i worry about grades and such. aye. we've all got to move on right?
it's just that we're doing so much moving on. first was confirmation, then cca farewell, then end of project 318. then it'll be graduation. then i'll be some full-fledged 16 or something. i don't want some root-chopping exercise or something.
then had tuition. instead of going to my cousin's birthday celebration, i went tuition. then had dinner at some korean restaurant. wow. the beef and pancake is like oil fest. feel quite queasy now.
lynn says clay's album will be out soon. shall go buy. starting now, shall end off each entry with a sentence or 2 summarising everything.
`times change. and perhaps, i'll be left behind. but don't forget me. or i won't forgive you`
